Friday, May 19, 2006

The unromantic subject

I was driving along- mind wandering and drifting - when I noticed this really cute guy standing behind one of those tripods that surveyors use.

There's a simularity there, but I digress. *cough*

I had the oddest question pop a neuron.

Why haven't there been any heroes, either in romance or in suspense thrillers, who has a job as a Surveyor?

Can't the job hold a reader's interest?

I questioned : Besides the usual - standing on the side of a road squinting through that little telescope thing - where else are these people sent to do their job?

Are they ever sent into deep woods to start mapping out an area where a large commerical or industrial project will eventually rip open virgin land for planned progressive defilement?

Has a surveyor ever stumbled on old ruins?
Fell in forgotten wells?
Felt watched?
Heard noises amongst the forests' refuse?

Has a surveyor ever tried set up the tripod on uneven ground, only to discover a partially decomposed body?

How much adventure can occur during the work day of your average surveyer? I think the job would be a perfect foil for intrigue, suspense , horror or a mystery. Romance would be a secondary thing....darn.

Pondering all these things prompted me to post.
I need to share my musings.
Not to leave you nodding and saying There she goes again, off in another world that surely isn't Earth but, what professions do you feel would not read well in books. What jobs have not even been written about.
And why?

There is one major reason that I would NEVER want to be a surveyer. Can you guess? WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!!!

You guessed it. I am a woos. A chicken little.
A girly girl.

My bowels would produce bricks - if this and its kin were anywhere near me.

Of course, things can't get worse, right?

Ooops, shouldn't have asked......


M.E Ellis said...



Making me shit my kecks twice, no THREE times in one day (including the re-visit to a comment).

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my earsssssss and buzzing.

Oh, oh, you're too cruel, Spider Dancer!

*Deep breath! Calm down now. Yes. Yes. Caaaaaaaaaaalm dooooooown!*

Before you FREAKED ME OUT, this:

Why haven't there been any heroes, either in romance or in suspense thrillers, who has a job as a Surveyor?

made me laugh out loud.

Hmmm, what about a Taxidermist? They always conjour up creepy guys with a comb-over and bottle bottom lenses in their glasses. Small teeth and a big fug off wart on the end of their nose.

So not good on a book cover.

Mucho love from,

Spider Hater.


Bailey Stewart said...

Has a surveyor ever tried set up the tripod on uneven ground, only to discover a partially decomposed body?

Because then he would have to turn the whole thing over to the gorgeous cop. You can get by with a carpenter because he could be in your house all day - but what's a surveyor gonna survey in your house - the bathroom? My nephew is a surveyor and I can't stand him, so definitely turned off of them.

A signal man at a road construction site wouldn't be very romantic either.

M.E Ellis said...

A signal man at a road construction site wouldn't be very romantic either.


What about a chiropodist? He'd have mega cheesy fingers and be all creepy when you left the room because he'd have a foot fetish. He'd collect all the toenails he'd clipped and make a collage of them to place on his wall.

Oh can't you just tell I'm not a romance writer but a horror/sinister gal?


Michele said...

Ah! The challenge of a writer is to take a character with the stereotypical reputation and make him sympathetic and worthy of pursuit.

M.E.a/k/a Spider Hater - I tried to warn you! Really! But I have Dial-up - hmmm, that has possibilities for ... something. Haven't quite thought that out yet.
*ahem*, On purpose? Aw shucks, you caught me out. I was kind of curious as to HOW big a spider can get. Imagine my shock seeing THAT! **shudder**
BUT, It was so amazing, that I couldn't not do something with it...would you let one of your characters pass up that kind of opportunity?
RE: sir Taxidermist. He could be a handsome phycho. Norman Bates of stuffed animals. That's a thought.
Wart on the nose? ACK! Just thinking about the visual is enough to make me stop eating chocolate. Blech!
You're right, no book cover for him! Ever.

EVE! Your computer is up? I haven't seen you at my other blog. Does that mean the Pop up still can't Pop up? I might change my settings for you for a bit. I miss your witty reparte. Let me know.

As for the story line... a surveyor in the bathroom? Only if the portapotty is full. *cough*
I guess that's why I figures he'd be only good for mysteries or thrillers or something. How else can you get a surveyor in your home is a very good question.

You don't like surveyors because you don't like your nephew.
Oooh, a Wonderful Blog Thought,Eve!
Great question for another day. don't let me forget.

A signal man's not just his job that we' d write about, it is his ADVENTURE!

Looks like I have a challenge. Think I'm up to it?

M.E Ellis said...

Oh it's not funny SD!

The first and second time I came on here the FIRST spider didn't come up, was one of those tiny boxes with a red cross in the middle so the only spider pic I saw was the one above the army guys' heads.

Oh shit a fuggin brick. I just came on again and the first spider pic came up. Ohmygodohmygod it is so massive that my ears buzzed so loud and I squealed and...

I kinda piddled my knickers a little bit.

I've had five kids so it's a bit loose down there, you know? So sneezing, squealing, BEING FRIGHTENED BY CRUEL PEOPLE CALLED SPIDER DANCER makes me piss myself.

Oh my good grief. My heart has only just stopped beating like, well, a beaty thing that beats a lot.

Jeez. You are crueller than I first thought!

But fun!


Michele said...

What about a chiropodist
I have NEVER EVER heard of this profession.
He clips toenails? Good grief. Why do people go into these professions in the first place? Obviously there is a need, but does a 6 year old say,
"Guess what Dad! I know what I want to be when I grow up!"
Proud Father asks, "And what would that be, Son?"
"I want to clip toenails on old peoples feet. I'm gonna be rich!"
Father turns purple as he races for the phone to call the pediatrician.

Amazing the paths human choose, eh?

Well, M.E., I have to say, my blog has surely been full of zest since you came to visit.
And I'm snickering over the
"NO Egyptian" comment. LOL!!!!!

Michele said...

M.E. , our comments are crossing a tad.
You mean, all this time you were talking about the giant spider a big as skyscraper and you never saw the example of the REAL thing? Whoa, that had to be shocking!

Dang, that's funny. I couldn't have planned that if I had wanted to! -should I duck now? *snicker*
I've had two kids, so I can understand the loose feeling ... still,
your DH is going to think I'm a baaad influence, LOL

OK, no more spider pics for the rest of the week, OH! Today IS the end of the week. Gee..the possibilities *wink*
Have a calmer day, M.E.!!!

M.E Ellis said...

Cripes, mate, I had to scroll down and look at the screen with the old periphiral vision tactic so I didn't see that effin spider again yet I still shuddered knowing it was there.


Yes, I keep giggling at the Egyptian. Because hubs is bald, I keep trying to imagine him with long hair and it's making me larf.

I just went for a cigarette to calm down. Thought about that massive spider and actually said, 'Oh my good GOD!' out loud, just to PURGE myself of the image.

I'm going to do a new blog spot for today pointing people this way. I want to share my shit-scaredness with others.

Why should I be the only one to suffer?



M.E Ellis said...

You're the star of my blogspot!


Michele said...

ROTFL!! M. E.,
I drove you to smoke?!!! OMYGOSH!
Dang, I'm good. or not.

Thanks for the "shout-out" - I'd be glad to see other
"spider-dancers", but sooner or later, I might get visited by an irate entomologist and THEN the webs will fly!

M.E Ellis said...

LOL @ webs will fly!



CaliMarie said...


Thanks so much for visiting, luv. Michelle was just telling me about your blog.

Oh, luv...theoe are comments I've received in a day's time.

I've had the "Welcome" post up since I created my blog on March 31, 2006.

Therefore, they're comments I've accumulated over the past six weeks.

I also respond to others on my own blog (in a rather long-winded fashion), so several of the comments are me.

I'm not that special. Trust me.


Thank you so much for the compliments. I'm delighted you enjoyed and intend to come back.

I definitely don't have a problem with you linking me, for I intend to do the same with you.

I'm a blog fanatic. And I'm very supportive of my fellow blogger friends.

You'll always hear from me. :)

Have a great day, luv. And take care.

Chat you up soon.

CaliMarie said...

As far as the professions of heroes are concerned...I believe anything can work as long as you have a great plot and sex (whether soft or hardcore). What a character does should sort of help define them in a know.

Have you ever read up on your horoscope and reviewed the list of occupations you'd be best at because of your general personality?

A surveyor doesn't necessarily have to be surveying land. He could be some sort of sexual psychopath surveying ass.

Just my two cents.

Jpatrick said...

I think surveyors have potential. You must find one who knows how to handle a bull's eye rod.

Brandy said...

Ok, I can see a surveyor as a hero, but you mentioned an entemologist, eeeewwwwww! You are becoming very popular. Just don't forget us little people. As for the Spider, OMG what the HECK was that thing. Ugh!

M.E Ellis said...

*braved that hideous pic again to return!*

I've been thinking, even though I laughed earlier, about Eve's suggestion about the signal man.

Ok think hot day. Signal man in just a vest. Big muscles and all that polava. Hard white hat on. Flipping his GO STOP lollipop, and some woman drives along and spots him everyday. She hopes he'll say STOP with his l'pop so she can gawp at him.

And the rest is up to you.

Hmmm. That could work.



Michele said...

Thank you so much for doing me the honor of visiting!
I can't recollect if I've ever done that kind of horoscope inquiry. Nope. Might be kind of fun to find out.
*VBG* re: your interpretation of the surveyor. Sure is quite the thing to grab someone's attention, grabbed mine. *grin*

As far as you # of comments matter which way you spin it, it IS impressive.

I would love to reply to your comment with some kind of confidence, but when I looked up Bull's Eye Rod, I got disgusting pictures of some kind of rupture or hernia in the inner eyeball. I think that's worse than a spider. Ick!

Good question.! That spider DOES have a name.
A Desert Camel Spider. My BIL , when he was stationed in Iraq mentioned having to deal with them. Only by seeing the pictures can you appreciate the crap of critters our soldiers have to deal with. *shudder* And Brandy, hon, you are Unforgettable!!!!

You are too much. I wasn't so lucky when that happened to me. The guy was a jerk, he stared at me alright, scowled. Always in a bad mood he never "got any" and I swear, he recognized my car and saved a special sneer for me.
I'd know what to do with HIS lollipop! Grrrrr.
Your fantasy is SO much better, M.E. !

CaliMarie said...

Thanks, luv. You've got quite a blog here yourself.


Some of your thoughts just seem to flow as they come. And that's the way to be.

Keep at it! Please!

Michele said...

Keep at it! Please!

Not a problem, Cali. As of this month, I've been blogging for a year!
Hard to believe. One these days, I'm going to do a retrospective so all my new blog buds can get a glimpse of the early me.

Won't that be a trip. LOL

Thanks for the blog compliment.
Always fun to hear.

M.E Ellis said...

Back again!

Yes, shove that lollipop up his ass next time you see him.

Doesn't he realise that one day you will be FAMOUS?

Tsk. Some people! Bet he looks at you when you drive past in your porsche when you hit the big bucks.

Besides. I bet he has a massive wart on his testicles.


Michele said...

*snicker/snort* about the wart.

M.E Ellis said...