Thursday, May 11, 2006

A Gross and Stupid Question

Ever have one of those days where you think too much and the strangest questions pop into your head to perplex not only you, but anyone you mention it to?

Lend me your brain and gird your stomach. I have come up with just such a question.

First some background. I gear this towards romance book readers who enjoy the hero as being either a current of former Navy SEAL, Special Forces or any branch of the miltary either real or imagined where the men have to be bigger than life to do the job and do it right.
Case in point would be the men in books by Christina Skye, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Tara Janzen, Sandra Hill ... please add any of your favorites here.

Usually, at some point in the book, we see them on a mission. A dangerous covert mission.

You recollect that on "stake-out" is when they have to wait - for hours; total stillness, awareness and body control, for hours; no twitching, scratching or sneezing, for HOURS - you get the gist ....

What happens when nature calls? I mean, do they have special padding? Do they , um, for lack of delicacy - go with the flow? If so, how do they disguise the scent? Seriously. How do they deal? If they have allergies, and their noses turn into spigots, remember they can't move. Again, how do they deal? The sound of honking into a tissue must be a big no-no. What do they do?

OK, so I think weird things. But there must be answers out there. And if there ARE answers, that means someone has asked the question before me. So that means, they were weird first, and I am normal.

Isn't logic great?


Brandy said...

Hi, asked former Military Dude Dh and he had no clue. Said it was a good question though. He was in the Air Force, we joked it was the country club of the military. Seriously. Almost every AF base we visited had a golf course!! He did like to play war game though. His favorite was when he was an Augmentee SP, he got to carry an M-16 and the 9mm.

Michele said...

Thanks for asking your DH, Brandy. And he didn't think I was a fruit-loop?
Thanks for that too. *grin*

Maybe someday, I'll get an answer.

Bailey Stewart said...

I thought I had answered this before I went to work? I'm so dead on my feet I'm not sure which way is forward.

Anyway, I'll try to remember to ask my uncle. He was a ranger in WWII - went on a few raids behind Japanese lines (liberated a POW camp in the Philippines), so he ought to know.

Right now, nothing seems weird.

Betty S said...

Thank God I'm not the only one who is constantly watching her mind take off in weird directions and coming up with questions that make people go, huh? I think of a lot of scifi ideas that way, and I don't even write scifi. Maybe I should.

Anonymous said...

LOL, Michele ;)

Rayke said...

'Depends' are your Friends.

Wholy crap, that rhymed.

Maybe they are like David Blaine and can shut certain parts of their body down.

Michele said...

Eve That would be great! Thanks. I"m glad you don't think I'm weird. :-)

Betty LOL! No way, you are not the only one. Great minds think alike, yes? And that would be a great excercise if you wrote sci-fi! Can I read it? Bet it would be great.

Bonnie, Made you smile? Awesome.

Rayke Hey there! Yep, you rhymed. How would ordering Depends look on a military requisition form, I wonder.... (grin)

I don't know too much about that David Blaine guy. Didn't watch his stunt, wasn't too interested. I'd rather watch Jacques Cousteaus son any day.

Mark Pettus said...

Roll onto your side, and quietly let flow without splashing.

You'd be amazed how seldom you need to go when you're not moving and not drinking much. When it's hot, and you're in a gilley suit, you sweat most of it out.

As for the odor, and I'm assuming you mean solid waste (the smell of human urine isn't that strong)you learn to manage your diet and your bowels.


Michele said...

Thank you SO much for stopping by today.
You have answers and darned good ones too.

"Hooah"? - a man in the know.

I am impressed with your knowledge and willingness to share and satisfy my curiousity...
**gush-gush** mode.
Thank you again , Mark!! WOOT!

Bailey Stewart said...

Happy Mother's Day Michele!

Kristen Painter said...

I knew this post was going to be about bodily functions as soon as I read the header. lol

Michele said...

Thank you Eve! Same to you ... for all your furry kids. :-)

LOL, Kristen! But you read it, *grin*
Thanks!! :-)

M.E Ellis said...

I read this one in a jumpy manner, not wanting to scroll down in case you had another creepy crawly pic up.

My nerves are shot to pieces!


Michele said...

M.E. ! ROTFL!! Let me assure you, bugs are NOT a frequent sight on my blog. Truly.
I'm usually fluffier than that - in a nice , unbuggy way.
So glad you read through- wasn't Too bad, was it?

M.E Ellis said...

No it was fine! Absolutely fine.

I could do that job. I tend to hold my piddle for long periods of time. Probably why I squirted a little when that big biddy pic came up. Full bladder hahahaah!


Michele said...

M.E., I don't think you'd want to be a SEAL...big SPIDERS in the jungles...Ooooooh.

M.E Ellis said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh best be giving that profession a miss then!



Michele said...

ayup! *wink*