Ow

Just came home from surgery.
It was major surgery to correct a bunch of things...and remove others.
I hurt.
Man, I hurt.
The morphine was horrid - I mean the afteraffects.  I thought of food, dry heaves.  I looked at a flippen menu, I dry heaved... I dipped my finger into soda to get some liquid, and I hurled.  NOW I understand the phrase, 'cotton mouth'.  It was so dry. No matter I was getting hydrated via I.V. - nothing was in my mouth and I hated it.  I would have been home the morning after the surgery if I could have kept food down, If I could have eaten a breakfast, but I could not do it. 
I fell asleep with food still in my mouth.
I was lucky I didn't choke.
I could not stay awake.
It was the most miserable experience of my life.
I hated it.
Then, they make you walk. And walk. and walk.  and do that breathing thing to prevent pneumonia.
I'm glad to be home. 
Even typing this hurts.
but, it's been awhile and I needed to share my pain.
And my lonliness.
In there, my DH not able to be there, alone, all that activity going on around me but no one really caring for ME,  it got to me.
I felt so lonely.
But. The best thing while in the hospital? Was turning on EWTN, when I felt so alone, and in pain
and there was Mother Angelica talking about the Divine Mercy.
And then the Rosary, - I didn't feel so alone then.
Then a priest was visiting the room next door to me, He said only HI! as he passed my room but that was enough.
God was there.

I wasn't alone.
 
Now I'm home... and I have to recover.  How does a mom recover when everyone else needs what I do?
I'm tired.
I'm going to bed.
but, it's MY bed,  I'm home.  Amen.