Thursday, November 30, 2006
Oh My Goodness! I am horrified by Trista's loss. Senseless, totally.
You, my readers (thank you) have proven to be caring and supportive whenever I mention things that tug my heart. Please visit her blog and give her and her family a cyber hug, OK?
Hugs to Trista
Tickle Me Elmo
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM .
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
How can you not grin at this story? LOL
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Take it where and when you can.
Like this adorable and functional bag.
Yes, it's a bag, see the blue handle?
The old phrase,
"I'm with the old bag" takes on a new appreciation when the bag in question is as fine as this one.
For this, I wouldn't mind being called a
"bag lady". LOL
Fill it up!
Then, there is the X-treme view of creating your own excitement. I used to want to do this. "Used" to being the operative word. It always looked so glamorous, dangerous and life affirming. Provided you didn't go SPLAT on a rock.
Now, these many decades past, I'm no longer looking to find that adrenaline pumping type of excitement. I've got too much to live for, loved ones counting on me and too much future to want to put in harms way. But dang, it sure looks delicious, doesn't it?
Then, of course, there are those that need directions to find the spice of life. Believe it or not, but there are quite a few considerate folks out there willing to help.
I just love how the arrow points up.
Of course, and I warn you, this type of spice is not for the faint of heart. Some people find indulging and enjoying the culinary delights of nature to be QUITE exciting.
Not me. Nope, never, ever, not in my most drunken state (not that I do that, of course ), not even in my wildest survivalist musings, would I ever consider this to be exciting. But there are those that would, will and do.
As far as I'm concerned, for me to enjoy these,
My name would have to be
Woody and I'd only touch these babies with a very hard pecker...
you know. woodpecker? The bird?
Yep, find excitement in your life.
In the unexpected places.
I'd like to share a pet peeve observation.
Ever watch one of the early shows?
Ever hear the words, "LIVE, from Rockefellar Plaza!"
Um, what else WOULD they be?
Ever hear, "Special Edition of ...Today!" ??
Okaaay, like they're not on EVERY DAY?? What the heck is so special??
Do they DO anything different?
I understand that the subject matter can be influential, but it's not like the show isn't broadcasted at any other time of day or has a new format or hosts/hostesses.
What is supposed to stand out to MAKE it different?
It's not like a New And Improved formula for toilet cleaner.
Those words just seem so, .... silly? exaggerated?
Am I the only one that this strikes as odd?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Please READ the post before this- it's a lot more fun.
However, a question was asked by Marg on my previous- previous post - "What kinds of glitches has Beta Blogger having?"
Instead of writing it all down, I thought I'd copy and paste a few for those who are curious.
Are you ready to read???
"I recently switched to blogger beta and I noticed that my archives are all dead links. When I try to replublish my archives all I get is "Google Error: Server error, The server encountered a temporary error and could not complete your request. Please try again in 30 seconds"
"Having had nothing but problems since migrating to beta blogger and having received no response from Google's apprently indifferent support program "
" My problem with beta at the moment is that when I login and go to add a new entry the only options available to me are spell checker and picture adder. I am unable to change the word formating, add web links, colour or anything else"
"I can't seem to edit, publish, and create new post ever since I've switched to google beta.. everytime I tried, the loading got stucked, nothing was shown in the end. I clicked back and tried over and over again, results same. I can't do ANYTHING to my blog at all now except to play with the basic settings"
"Before Beta, I could only post using Blooger for Word a bit over half the time. Now with Beta Blogger, I can't use Word at all."
"In switching to Beta...I have lost my blog. "
"Many photos are not being displayed since I switched to Beta"
So, there you have it. A "SMALL" insight as to what I've been seeing about Beta Blogger and why I am dragging my feet about switching over.
Did this help you at all????
I was visiting Ellora's Cave and I was thrilled to find out that not only did Shelly Munro have the third installment of her Talking Dog series out ( Did I tell you Shelly "friended" me on MySpace? Squeeee!) , but Lauren Dane had not one but TWO of her Witches Knot books out. I knew Thrice United was her latest, but never realized that I'd missed Vengence Due.
Then, I decided that I'd try a new author with a different slant on dragons, Arctic Dragon by Delilah Devlin.
It is a short story.
I have only one complaint.
It was TOO DARNED short!
There were hints of a realm war coming on. There were hints that her thwarted Blue Smurf, ( I loved that line) was more than met the eye and the world she wrote about had oh, SO much possibility that when the story ended, I felt that I was teased. Thwarted more than the blue guy.
Yes, yes, yes, I got my HEA. You know how I feel about those.
I still feel teased. There was so much richness of world and character hinted at that I felt I was left with a cliffhanger. There's no rescue in sight, however, and that's what bugs the muse in me.
Another short offering I took a chance on was Bacchus by Jordan Summers.
This one was a bit more complete. I didn't feel like I bought a creme puff that only had a dallop of cream in it. This one delivered.
I have to say this.
There was a lot of original thought in this one. The eyes weren't the only things red. It was very clever of the author to introduce a being that seems like a vampire, but isn't.
I'm not telling WHAT he is. *grin*
It's clever, different and that made it enjoyable.
If you are in any way curious about these stories or authors, I've included links.
Nothing like sharing the literary wealth.
What have you been reading that's given you a pleasant surprise?
Oh, and before I forget, if you have any opinions on the new Beta Blogger, please let me know on the previous post. Thanks.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
It's about the new Beta Blogger that I'm constantly hearing about.
Have you switched?
If you have, how has it worked for you?
If you haven't, why not?
I am torn. And I'm feeling pressured.
Have you noticed that when you comment now, that you HAVE to relog in with your Blogger name and password? Seems nothing gets "saved" anymore. What a pain!
I even have to when I answer comments ON MY OWN BLOG!!
I checked my Blogger settings to see if I could get around that, but nothing looks different. I can't seem to make any changes to make it go back to the way it was.
All I know is that I'm irritated by the whole thing.
I subscribe to the Yahoo groups for Blogger people where you can report your problems and others respond who have already gone through it. They help you, sometimes before the "Blogger Geniuses" ever get back to you.
What do I see/hear?
Complaints, Tons of complaints about the Beta version of Blogger.
AND once you switch, you can not go back. Seems to me, they're putting the pressure on for us oldies to switch without ironing all the bugs out first. Seems WE are the testers, and have to put up with the learning curves and bumps along the way until they reach Beta "perfection".
So, I ask again. Have you switched? Is it worth it? What's the big difference?
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
That's the question that begs to be asked because the holidays are closing fast.
A few more days, and Lady Pepto, Sir Immodium AD, Sargeant Maalox and Duke Alka von Seltzer might become your best buds.
So, fellow bloggers, are you ready?
Oh, and I hope you don't get surprised by any silly holiday antics by your relatives ....
But if you do, I hope they'll be harmless as this guy's,
And a bit of advice .... Should Aunt Hagatha get a tad zealous and not only overcooks the precious turkey but all the fixings on the counter next to it, remember that professional fire fighters can and should be called when any HOT emergencies occur. (I'm having one just looking at this pic!)
Good survival advice, eh?
So, how are YOU getting ready??
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Where to begin?
My theme song?
Or School's Out
Wasn't there a great tune in Footloose that sang about being Free? You bet. One of my favorites.
Try Born Free.
Anything musical that comes to your mind which embraces the element of freedom or escape from something that dominated your thoughts, life or time. Your choice.
Now would be a wonderful moment to celebrate being released from a major time and energy commitment, responsibility and a vested emotional interest. Except I'm one wiped out dudette.
The Holiday Craft and Food fair went well. True there are a few things we'd really wish we'd done differently, LIKE REMEMBER A FLIPPIN CAMERA!!!
The ready made mixes for the bean soup, Russian hot tea mix, beer breads and Mocha Cocoa flew off the tables. The chocolate covered spoons, the pies we made all summer and fall and many other preserved food items, were a hit!
And the jams!
I bought, cinnamon apple cider, Pineapple, Green Pepper, Peach and two of the port wine jams. They were out of the Garlic - pooh!
We sold out of the cat nip toys and the home made doggie bones. However, hardly anyone wanted to by home made bird feeders with suet and/or peanut butter.
Want to hear one of the reasons?
"Oh, once you start, you can't stop or they'll starve! That's too cruel! So we won't buy any at all."
Um, does that make sense? If there's an ice storm and they can't scritch or scratch for food, since when is offering them an alternative " cruel"?
I remember when we were planning our basket raffle, a/k/a Chinese Raffle. Who knows why that name is attached to this event when there's nothing Chinese about it ....
Anyway, we were struggling to get eight ideas off the ground and when all was said and done, there were SIXTEEN baskets of goodies offerred.
Guess what? I WON ONE OF THEM!!
Oh, do you want to know what I won?
A hand painted weather station in the shape of a bird house. It has an attached yard stick to measure the snow, a thermometer and when the weather is nicer, a rain guage. Cool, huh?
And a surprise. *grin*
There is SO much I could say about the whole experience. But blog hopping is supposed to be a quick thing and this could turn into a book.
I wouldn't do that to you.
Suffice it to say, I was in tears of happiness a few times, pulling my hair out at others. Got mad at someone ( which I don't usually do) and had someone threaten to walk out on me. (Averted, naturally). We were short of man (woman) power and I was responsible for three sections. The Pet Corner, the three tables of "Make an Offer" and the knitted/handmade section. At one point, the fourth area of "Make an Offer" which had two more tables assigned to it was also my responsibility.
Talk about crazy!
Talk about Stress!
Talk about thankfullness that there were HONEST people willing to wait to pay!!!
Talk about being grateful to the small core of women who stuck with me through all of this.
Talk about relief that It. Is. OVER!
However, yes folks here it comes.
I'd like to share, briefly, a moment of a personal nature. A moment that is special and perhaps uplifting.
Are you game?
There is a young girl who's helped us right along. 8th grader. Sweet as a peach and a credit to her parents. Her mom is my VP.
Half of her face was attacked by a viral infection that inadvertantly got a secondary bacterial infection on top of it. It looked painful and itchy. Her face was swelling and one of her eyes was swollen shut.
Did she stay home?
(FYI-she wasn't contagious at all)
But she was incredibly self conscious and worried and depressed. She hid the inner emotional toil this was taking on her so well - like a stoioc trooper -she worked both days at the fair and we didn't realize how deeply upset she truly was.
Until later today.
Earlier this morning, when she told us of her ER visit, she made a little comment about her looks.
I told her the truth, that I didn't notice the disfiguration.
"But I don't "SEE" it."
Do you know what I mean?
I was concerned for her.
Angry for her in the casual way her regular MD association(managed care HMO) treated her -- read "lack of care".
But it in no way detracted from her person. She was still wonderful in my eyes. I didn't feel she was "Less" because of how she looked.
Her mother later came to me in private, emotional and intense.
"Michele, you have no idea what that one sentence, what ONE sentence has made in the life of my daughter. I've told her that she's beautiful no matter what but because I'm her mom and I can see HER no matter what is happening, she wasn't buying it.
She's beautiful to me, but she couldn't hear that or believe it, coming from me. But you said that one thing that made her day. Saved it and changed it for her. That one sentence was pivotal. You said, "But I don't SEE that." Thank you. Thank you so much!"
And she gave me a hug. I hugged her back as one mom comforting another. Receiving thanks for something that at the time seemed such a small thing but had a profound effect on another's life.
Words have power.
Power for good.
Of anything from this event, with all I've written about, this ... this little story means the most to me. THIS was an ultimate success story.
I had tears in my eyes when she left.
Can you see why?
Friday, November 17, 2006
I'm SO stressed but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Some of you know that I, along with a few really dedicated ladies and fellow officers, have been working, slaving and worrying about the upcoming fair that we have been putting together.
The count down has started.
We were there last night until 10PM setting up. Will be there this morning and this evening, then the final precheck starts at 7:30AM Saturday.
9:00AM -F Time! (Fair, Fair, not the other F word!)
We work until 5:30 or 6 PM and start again 8AM and go to 2PM and then it is OVER!!!
Believe it or not, during the Flu clinic that was held in the hall yesterday and one of the reasons why we couldn't start setting up earlier in the week, the nurse administiring the shots fell in love with one of our tiny fully decorated one foot trees and BOUGHT IT!
There was another church worker who saw the wreaths we made on the porch of the Priest's house (there's an official word for it, but it escapes me) where we were storing them and she fell so in love with one that she bought it immediately!!!
Anyway, once all was done last night, we all took a deep breath and looked at what we did. It looked AWESOME!!!
I can't believe how it all came together.
I just hope all the rest- the workers, the crowd and the donated food, comes along as well.
Wish us luck!!!
We're gonna need it.
Oh! And did I tell you that on the way to work yesterday, it suddenly hit me that I FORGOT to get two of the main raffle prizes?
The Night at the Movies for Four and the $100.00 raffle tree!!!
You can guess what kind of a tizzy I'm in. I was able to grab a $40.00 concession card and I'll pick up the tickets at an AAA outlet. Saves $8.00 when you do that. Then, off to a package store to get scratch tickets.
And I have to BAKE!
Yep, we're going to need the wished luck. I'M going to need the wished for luck.
6:04 AM - time to get the horde off to school and work.
Have a great TGIF everyone!
If you need a Friday laugh, click on Bailey Stewart She has an hysterical SPAM post on Fridays that is too good to miss.
Monday, November 13, 2006
I'll admit to a snarky post coming up.
It is more of an observation than targeted at any one person.
Have you ever watched them?
I'm used to having visions in my head of the Bionic Man or the Bionic Woman jogging.
They were confident, sexy and purposeful joggers. Good form. No flopping wrists and bad clothes.
In real life?
Double Jointed floppers.
Limp wristed fish.
The high steppers
and (females only - I hope) the ones who are daring enough to jog and risk getting black eyes from their yo-yo-ing mammaries.
I was driving behind a female jogger the other day and I was cringing at her leg motions. It looked as though her knees bent out which had her legs lift up and angle to the side. Can you even imagine the visual? \ / Like a flapping V.
Can arthroscopic surgery be far from her future?
Or the man in the macho black sweat band with bunny hands held in front of him.
The lopers are kind of cool. They look more like a running ballet. You know, what they do before they leap? But the leap never comes - it's jogging.
Have you noticed?
Do you have any strange jogging stories to share?
Curious Kitty wants to know.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Hmmm, maybe it was young Jai that got me hooked at the time.
When the re-runs started and I was old enough to appreciate older men, Ron Ely as Tarzan was my eye candy and infatuation du jour.
I loved his style, his voice and it was while watching the show with the nuns that I learned "Bringing in the Sheeves" or whatever that hymnal song was. I enjoyed the one where they were in some type of temple or paramid and he had to swim under water to escape. The plots were fantastical and there never was a steady female character to threaten my fantasies.
This is all from memory from *ahem* a LONG time ago.
How did I get on this topic?
I was cruising my on-line library catalog to look up Xanadu and ended up with a reference to Ron Ely and a mystery book about a investigator named Jack Sands. Turns out Ron is alive and well and an AUTHOR!!!
Am I going to be checking out his books? You bet!
Do you not even know who Ron Ely is? How handsome he was in his loin cloth?
Oooh, Click here to see his yumminess .....
See this pic with with the knife attached to his hip? Modern guys have replaced it with the CELL PHONE!!
Hmmm, Techno Tarzan - what a concept.
Do you have a favorite Tarzan???
Friday, November 10, 2006
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he is a DEA agent and that the dog is a "sniffing dog"
" His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."
The plane takes off, and once it has leveled out, the agent says:
He tells Sniffer to "search".
Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for a several seconds. Sniffer then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent says, "Good boy", and he turns to the man and says:
"That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seatnumber and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."
"Say, that's pretty neat" replies the first man.
Once again, the agent sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Labs niffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm.
The agent says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."
"I like it!" says his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to "search" again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop all over the place.
The first man is really grossed out by this behavior and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would act like that, so he asks the agent
"What's going on?"
The agent nervously replied,
"He just found a bomb!"
I could see this being funny because of the dog's chosen communication method, but serioiusly, I know this isn't the best form of humor. This is a sign of the times though. Trying to find humor in any situation is a survival instinct and talent. Humor helps get you through the worst times .... even "dark" humor generates a snicker or two.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
A little boy goes to his father and asks
"Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers:
"Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
> > >
> > > >
You got Male!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Our old friend, Wm. H "Bill" Fenton, recently
retired from the phone company and, to help
fill his days, now accompanies his wife on her
shopping trips to the local Walmart.
We know Bill and, therefore, can only speculate that
extreme boredom has led to his recent disruptive
behavior at the local Walmart...
Dear Mrs. Fenton,Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causingquite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behaviorand have considered banning the entire family from shopping in anyof our stores.We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble yourhusband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have beencompiled and are listed below.
Mr. Wally Worrywart President
Wal-Mart Complaint Department-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has donewhile his spouse/partner is shopping:
1. June 15, took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2, set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.
3. July 7, made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to therest rooms.
4. July 19, walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,"Code 3 in Housewares..." and watched what happened.
5. August 4, went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's onlay away.
6. September 14, moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpetedarea.
7. September 15, Set up a tent in the camping department and told othershoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the beddingdepartment.
8. September 23, When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cryand asks, " Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4, Looked right into the security camera; used it as amirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10, While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3, Darted around the store suspiciously loudly hummingthe "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6, In the auto department, practiced his "Madonnalook" using different size funnels.
13. December 18, Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsethrough, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's thosevoices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Tom And Jerry Tales. 8:30AM start time EST.
I was hearing strange sounds and went to investigate.
Imagine my surprise to see some sort of Hawiian fire goddess throwing fire balls at Tom the cat as he rode a totally unbelieveable surfboard on lava.
That wasn't my issue. Lava riding beings, man, machine or animal, has been done hundreds of times.
What I took umbrage to was the fact that the "fire goddess" was a naked buxom and shapely babe with wisps of fire slicing across her southern privates and fingers of flame cupping her ample breasts.
What in the world are these cartoonists thinking with -- their pencil penises?? Give me a break! That is not appropriate for children's TV.
Why do they have to sneak in sex?
Why do they target such a young audience?
They're skanky about it too. They couch sex within favorite characters so the kids will pitch a fit if you tell them to turn it off or change the channel.
"It's a good part, Mom! What's wrong with it?"
Scary, isn't it?
What is wrong?
It's wrong that they really don't know what they're being exposed to , but the seeds of casual sex and casual treatment of sex, male or female, have been planted. It's influence shows up once the hormones start changing their views of themselves, their peers and their world.
Don't even get me started on the violence that accompanies the sex. That is another soapbox subject.
So, have YOU watched the latest cartoon fodder on TV with your kids?
Have you seen what I've seen?
As adults, we can rationalize, understand and dismiss most of the crap imbedded in cartoons. I believe we do this automattically, like a reflex.
Kids haven't lived long enough to develop that reflex or anti-marketing skin. They are little sponges, absorbing everything - the filters develop as they age and as they gain maturity.
Right now, WE are the filters. As hard as it is to do, we must play the "bad cop".
If we don't,
I shudder to think about the ripple affect on the morality and ethics of our future society.
Time to catch the pebble BEFORE it hits the pond.