Friday, July 29, 2011

How Am I Going To Make Lemonade From This??

My day started with burning a bagel so bad the fire alarm went off.
Of course we opened all the doors and windows to get the smoke out to stop the smoke detector's noise.
Because the sound was so loud, we never remembered, or realized that the house alarm was going off.

When the fire alarm stopped, the house alarm was going.
Rushed over to shut it off.
The phone rang, it's the alarm company.

Because I didn't know the PASS CODE, they sent the police.  We never HAD a pass code! There I was in my Taz PJ's, hair all mussed because, it's early early  in the morning and I still hadn't had a complete cup of coffee and I'm telling the cops that it's a false alarm.  They charge for those these days.

Anyway, it turns out, the small company contracted with a professional monitoring company just a WEEK ago.  One week,  And they were not supposed to ask for a pass code.   Because we never had one.  Nor had our contact information ever been forwarded to them so they didn't know if I was lying or not.

One stressful situation averted/

The arsenic in the sauce?  Well, some of you know that I had surgery and am now 4 weeks post-op.  So, I've been out of work.  And I know they missed me and I was sort of looking forward to going back. In fact, this coming Monday.

At 11:13AM I got a call.  It was my boss. She said " This isn't going to be a good call. "  And I thought, oh no, what did I forget to do before I left for surgery?" I wish that was all it was.

She said, "I'm laying you off".  She's closing her law practice.  I am now out of work . Earlier in the week, I'd wished for one more week, because I didn't feel I was quite healed enough.  Be careful of what you wish for.  I don't have to go back to work next week after all.  Now, I don't even have a job to go back to.

Add to the misery.  I can't call my husband at work.  Why ruin his day?  I tried calling my mom.  No answer.
Called a good friend -no answer.   For a moment there, I just broke down.  How do you deal with this kind of bombshell all on your own?   Fortunately, my friend called me back within minutes and I was able to at least have an ear.  That meant a lot to me.  She was such a God-send because at that moment, I wasn't alone bearing the weight of the results of one of the worst phone calls I've ever had.

I have kids with special needs - medical needs.  Where am I going to find another employer who is as understanding and accommodating as my old boss?  It was a dream job.  But like all dreams, they end. You wake up too soon and you lose that good feeling and harsh, cold reality slaps you in the face.

 I have no idea what I'm going to do. How to proceed. Obviously, I have to update my resume. Oh my gosh, at my age, who is going to hire me?  The economy sucks and there are so many well qualified people out there who've been looking for months, YEARS, for a job. 

I'm a very scared person right now.  

Monday, July 18, 2011

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Ah, The Good Old Days

I loved the old movies that explored how nature would turn on us for poisoning the earth with our bombs and nuclear experiements.

Remember THEM!  THEM!

This is my favorite Forrest Tucker movie   The CRAWLING EYE!
Recognize the female lead? She was in Darby O'Gill opposite Sean Connery, way back when.  Ah, those were the days.

The most blatent movie targeted towards our pollution is  GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER! lol  
I used to think this movie was awesome.  Boy, I was young.

Of course THIS movie scared the fur out of me!  Can you believe MGM did this ??
Bunny Mutants!    If this didn't give you a good glimpse, here's a close up **GG**
what Viscious Rabbits!  But THE most Dastardly Rabbit attack EVER is HERE!!!!  ::cue spooky music::

Yes, nature has a way of getting back at us. ...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Sing HIGH - Sing LOW - Just Sing

Never heard of these guys ... I can't tell if they were trying to be the Four Seasons or the Beach Boys.
What's your take?

TONIGHT BY THE RUBETTES

I'm going with the Four Seasons...-

DAWN

or CANDY GIRL

DANCE by the Beach Boys- Dont' think it comes close to the Rubettes like Frankie Valli. :-)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Um - really?

Single Bed  Close your eyes.  Listen to her sing. Tell me... do you imagine the singer should be singing with
a Lollypop and and her thumb stuck in her mouth?   And this was 1980s rock?
Yikes

Now- Blast from the past.. a song that Does Match, Does Rock and Does make a person Dream

MAGIC

One inspires imagination - the other - makes me want to drink diet soda. ;-)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Laughter - It's totally subjective

Gotta get past the last post.  Easy enough to do when I go to help out my blog buddy, Bailey, with an earworm and find the perfect song to replace it with.  In the process I had a gigglefest and thought I'd share it with you.

Which version do you think is more ... cool, rocking, hip, groovey?  LOL

The Newbie

The Oldie

You think that was painful?  ROTFL!

Jump in my Car?  How bout IN FRONT OF IT!  ::snicker:;

But it looks like 1975 was a GOOD year for the Car Song...what do you think???

Friday, July 01, 2011

Nightmare

Nightmares comprise of many things: phobias, worst case scenarios, the list is endless.
A mother's nightmare is just as terrible.
I woke up yelling NO!! this morning at 5:10AM..
Is it a result of recovering from surgery?
Is it a result of a phone call I received from a school counselor?
Combination thereof?
I don't know.
What I do know is that the image was so vivid - terrifyingly so.

That I woke up to find a note on the side of my bedside table saying "I don't believe in the afterlife, but, I'm sorry."
In my nightmare, I ran downstairs to see my son hanging, the tips of his toes just barely brushing the tips of the arm rest of the chair he must have used to help hang himself.
His face was sort of puffed and red, his eyes bugging out and breath wheezing but winding down when I found him.
Oh my God... it was so REAL!
In the nightmare, I was trying to lift his weight, get it off the plastic noose he used. Screaming, "Please! Please! Breathe!  Don't Go!"

The thing is, earlier that morning, I heard him get up about 4:30AM.  I knew he was up and he closed our bedroom door.  When that happens, sounds gets muffled pretty completely.
I didn't care that I pulled my stitches and was in ;pain.
I ran down those stairs.
To find him calmly watching King of the Hill.

I shared with him my nightmare - not the details, mind you. Just that he killed himself and how it scared the shit out of me.  And I asked him, " Have you ever thought of committing suicide?"
He looked at me.
Said, "Yes."
::Deep breath::
"When?"
"During the school year, but I'm fine now."

Yes, out of school. Away from pressure of peers, testing and performance expectations. It's the summer, he's home, safe and in a supportive environment.
How many kids must feel that way? How many kids find the pressures of school so bad, and, being unable to talk about it, internalize it enough to end up spiralling into a state of depression that suicide looks to be the ONLY way out?

You bet, I'll be calling the pediatrician. And having more talks with my son.
He has Aspergers - so the talking will be difficult and challenging. He's not in touch with his feeling to verbalize them. But he has them and they are just as strong and potent as a non-neurologically affected person.

Sometimes, dreams are the start of facing reality.
If we listen.
Wish us luck.

I Tried a Book Out of My Comfort Zone

Sometimes, reading out of my comfort zone is ... well, uncomfortable. The blurb of the book sounded rather interesting. The Fate of Mercy ...