Thursday, June 09, 2016

I'm Still Alive

You wouldn't think so considering that I've not blogged in a dinosaur's age. I sometimes think I'm alive but not thriving.

Why?

I'm getting old!

No one mentions about gray hairs or how irreverent they are to their placement on one's body.

No one mentions how doctor appointments become much more prevalent in one's life to the point it becomes a 'social' thing.

This month alone, I've been told I have bladder cancer, so I'm going for testing. No one believes it yet but because someone said I had it, money will change hands from me to big pharma and insurance companies.

This month alone, I've been told that the 3 year bilateral numbness in my feet,for which I've been tested numerous times for diabetes and it has always come back negative, is actually a precursor to diabetes - an early warning system if you will. Today I was told that current research is bringing to light a pattern of my exact complaint which can occur 6-7 years BEFORE the onset of diabetes. According to my MD, the clock is ticking - I'm 3 years in.

My 3 jobs, all sedentary at a computer, have manifested into numerous visits to the chiropractor because I carry all the stress in my neck and shoulders. I'm stiff like a newly wrapped mummy.

Life used to be filled with dates, movies, amusement parks, picnics, excitement, frivolity, fashion worries and naughty jokes.

Now? I think most of the movies nowadays have no intellectual value, I can't go on twirly, jerky fast rides anymore - throws my back out, picnics have bugs that bite, excitement is finding a deal of a price on a weed eater or weed whacker, frivolity has been tamed because I'm now a 'serious parent', fashion is limited to Give Me Comfort! and naughty jokes don't seem to be as naughty but instead are vulgar and unimaginative - no truly creative word play with double entendres and clever twists. ( I miss George Carlin)

Getting old sucks.

But, at least I'm still here to GET old. Right?

No comments: