The difference between years 2019 and 2020 at my workplace is marked.
I work for a great place. Its product helped out so many once the reality of remote learning became established.
In 2019, our product was getting recognized as a great classroom tool and the month of August was so busy, I was working 3-4 hours overtime some days just to keep up. It wound down the second week into September and things went back to a normal pattern like in years past.
2020 and COVID-19 changed all that. It started the last week in July and exploded. Just Boom! August and September were months that took over my life. They were a blur. I missed MD appointments, hair appointments - I lived my job. I was averaging 16 hours a week overtime just to keep my head above water. We all were. And it lasted until the first week of October! Things usually slow down in December, reflecting the holiday season. In 2020, the reverse was true. I've never been so busy.
I'm not complaining, I'm happy, thrilled and relieved that we are doing so well. It's the reason for this manic pace that is sad. A virus has been weaponized by politicians with our kids suffering collateral damage. Today I heard them being referred to as the "lost generation". That shouldn't even BE a thing. It shouldn't be acceptable, to anyone. Children are our future, any country's future, and there is so much pain, suffering, insecurity, depression ... my gosh, the list can go on and on. So, remote learning is now the thing, and the product my company offers can help students in a specific curriculum, so is being discovered by more and more teaching professionals. Again, I'm proud that we can contribute to students continuing their education via online instruction. I only wished that it didn't stem from something so world-changing as this virus is turning out to be.
2019 I took for granted that I could visit my parents and family. That I could easily go across the state line to visit a very good friend of mine and have a sleepover, that I could go shopping anywhere at any time and never fear for my health, that I could join a gym and finally feel like I'm taking charge of my health, all of those actions of everyday life, destroyed in 2020. The gym has shut down, I can't see my parents because they are in critical stages of health issues - cancer and heart failure, to name a couple. I haven't seen my friend in over a year - I can't cross state lines. I have to shop carefully and my hands are cracking, drying out and peeling from so much handwashing and use of strong hand sanitizers because you know previous research showed the plethora of germs on the handles of shopping carts, door handles and counters. Holidays were spent apart so the usual joy and excitement and anticipation was non-existent. Especially so for my aging parents that are not computer savvy and only use one if they have to - so Zoom meetings weren't an option. Again, I could go on and on, but I don't have to. To one degree or another, we ALL are affected by these same issues. The pain and struggle is universal.
What isn't universal, yet is, is the quandary of working parents with kids of school age. In the 1950s homeschooling could have been achievable because a family was able to save, function and live life on one paycheck - usually the father. One paycheck and everything you need from shelter, clothes, food and other life essentials could be purchased. One parent could stay home and teach and be there for any crisis. In 2020 that's a lifestyle lost to the mists of time. There is no choice whatsoever that one parent, father or mother, could stay home to take the helm of homeschooling. You need two paychecks to survive, never mind thrive. Imagine being a single parent - it's unfathomable to understand that level of crisis. It's too extreme to consider the ramifications yet for too many, it's their reality. COVID has made it OUR crisis too.
Families have to make hard, impossible choices - and through it all, kids suffer. Their suffering isn't going to end next year, or the year after. Nor does it affect only them. It's going to affect ALL of us, with or without kids, because kids are our future. Ask yourself, what kind of groundwork is being laid for them in 2020? In ten years an 8-yr. old is going to be 18 - legal age where adult decisions, expectations and life skills will be demanded of a lot of them. They lost a year of education, perhaps more. They lost socialization skills, soft skills that employers were having a hard time finding even before COVID-19; they lost momentum in their education - and the most tragic and heartbreaking of all, are the kids that will never see that age - they took their own lives because the whole COVID situation overwhelmed them. Imagine them seeing their parents unable to fix what is wrong, realize that they aren't able to eat the foods they're used to, they come to understand shelter insecurity, food insecurity, the loss of friendships leading to a feeling of aloneness and helplessness - all of which compounds itself during isolation, lockdowns, shelter in place, whatever the 'experts' call it. It's all bad.
2020 took away the life we had in 2019. 2020 didn't 'flatten the curve' - it flattened our very lives - dealt body-blows to our hopes, dreams, security and the ultimate harm, lost loved ones. 2020 was a smackdown.
I started the blog post with an upbeat tone because 2020 started off that way, It was awesome and I felt life was good. Then March 13th, Friday the 13th was the date everything changed for me. As month after month went by, confusion, apprehension, worry, fear, anger, sadness, you name it, I felt it. It's no comfort to know that I'm not alone facing those emotions. There are many, too many, people in this country, and indeed the world, that have it much worse than me right now. I get it.
COVID is a real threat to health, and I am aware of too many people who've dealt with it - and have aftereffects that are freakishly scary in their own right. This virus has changed the world now and will affect the world going forward. My life in 2019 seems like a fond memory. Now it's 2021 but I don't want 2019 to be a memory, I want that level of living back. Not just for me, but for all the children and their families. They NEED 2019's freedoms returned to them, they are our future and need our support.
I fear for my life because I have health issues that put me in the at-risk category. My lungs are compromised already. But I listened to a priest's homily a few months ago where he said " You can not live your life if you live in fear. Don't let them make you fear. Don't be afraid to live." That's the one common denominator that's fed to us day in and day out on TV, radio and newspapers - Fear. Not hope, not encouragement for strength, nor giving us confidence that ultimately we'll win the day because we are and will continue to fight this - no, it's fear. Fear paralyzes. For 9 months I was paralyzed. To a certain degree, I still am. But I'm starting to live. Maybe 2021 won't be like 2019 but it sure as heck is not going to be a twin to 2020.
I'll do all I can to be smart and follow the rules, but I'll work to make those rules work FOR me, not against me. As the Dune quote goes, "Fear is the mind killer".
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