That Doesn't Turn Me On!

 Back to the book life. 

Back to reading blurbs and trying to find one that catches my eye, piques my interest and makes me want to check it out. 

I sometimes think that mood plays a part in how a reader interprets a blurb. It may be a blurb in their favorite genre or trope but something just doesn't fit, and they pass. 

What I find annoying is a specific trope, or phrase.  I start off really enjoying a blurb and the more I read it, the more I think this might be the one, until one sentence sinks it. I'm done.  I'm over it. What started to turn me on, just shut me off. 

What can't I stand? Here's a few examples:

critically acclaimed

critically acclaimed author 

surrounded by secrets and heartache

and its dark secrets.

 the secret she's been keeping is revealed.

world of scandal, secrets and desire.

 and the secrets that tear them apart.

a secret that could destroy their fragile relationship.

There it is in a nutshell - secrets. A convenient plot conflict, a well-used trope that drives me nuts. The 'secret' is the scary threat; everything reads great, they overcome some major obstacles and just when you think they're going to make it, BAM! the secrets from the past show up and now all the gains are wiped out, trust is gone, one character is tragically hurt, or runs away to 'heal', or they become bitter enemies - so the book continues and now the story becomes focused on what they have to do -  whether it be to grovel,  connive or trick the other, or 'friendly secondary characters with good intentions'  manage to get them together and the hero and heroine both reluctantly admit the spark is still there, and they start again but now they have to work around the damage of the 'secret'.   

I despise the trope of secrets. I despise a story where one main character frets practically the entire book about their secret only to find out everyone forgives whatever it is, which can come across as too pat or contrived, or the supporting cast thinks nothing of it, or, and this is worse, they knew about it all along and didn't care.  I'm left with an anticlimactic ending, and the feeling of being let down or worse, duped. I'm so over secrets. They turn me off.

Then there is 'critically acclaimed' and NY Times bestseller, USA bestseller, whatever it might be.  The epitome of ridiculousness is an example from a recently read blurb that included references to numerous bestseller lists and that the author was acclaimed here and there, but do you know what was missing?  The story! Nothing about the book that would help determine who would want to buy the book. There was NOTHING but name dropping of all the 'bestseller' lists, and how 'important' they are because past books were 'acclaimed'. I had no idea if it was contemporary, a mystery, mainstream fiction, no mention of the characters, no teasers, no hooks, no idea what it was even about. Why would I buy it?  That turned me off. 

I guess it's a good thing they DO state that secrets are going to tear them apart. Why? Because I'll know not to buy the book. Also, I don't particularly care if a person is acclaimed or not - that's no guarantee that the current book is worth reading. Usually they are 'acclaiming' about previous books so I'm not impressed. Certainly not enough to spend money on a hardcover. Being 'acclaimed' does not turn me on. 

Yes, I'm opinionated. But I think you know that already.