Friday, November 23, 2007

Wish List

Have you started your wish list?

I have.
Not for the family, or for what you THINK you should wish for on behalf of others, but for YOU.

I want a can opener. Yes for me ... my wrist is killing me! I need a new one.

I want a dust eating Gecko. Truly, a critter than can walk vertically up my walls to grab and gorge on all the cobwebs from the corners of my vaulted ceiling is worth his green scales in gold! Never mind all the dust bunnies behind the refrigerator and on top of open topped cabinets. Why wouldn't you want one too?

I want a makeup mirror. You know, the kind that manipulates your reflection to show you JUST how to apply the right color and swipe of the brush?

That's just for starters.
So, What do YOU want?

Oh, and I have a Lori Foster fan who wanted me to spread the word about her review she did for a book that has a story from Lori and other authors that she's excited about.
What are friends for, right?
See Bailey's review

And to top off the smiles....

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 -- A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Ba-dum-bump. LOL

Have a wonderful weekend All!


Bailey Stewart said...

These are funny! Thanks for the link. I guess the only thing I want for Christmas is a Borders Gift Card, but the Gecko would help too.

Brandy said...

Ummmm, a vaccumn cleaner that thought cat hair was a snap! Books, Books and more Books! *G* Other than that, I'm good.

Love the Smart Ass answers! Those were hilarious and Chris got a kick out of them too!

Dru said...

These were great. Thanks for the laugh.

I would love a new computerize sewing machine, fabric and books.

Michele said...

*grin*, Bailey..Glad you liked my off the top of my head humor.
A Book Store Gift Cert is Always welcomed. Unfortunately, no matter HOW much people know I like to read, NO ONE has ever gotten me one!
Imagine that!

So happy to hear you and Chris got a laugh from my post today. That makes me happy. And a vaccuum that knows how to deal with cat hair - guaranteed, would be a best seller!

Great idea, Brandy!

You're Welcome, Dru. *gg*
A sewing machine? Hey, are you one of those extremely Talented people? Very cool!

And, Yes, books. Books that purchase themselves JUST to have you read them.
Does that EVEN make sense? *giggle*
Thanks for dropping by!

raine said...

I want a seven-figure three-book deal with a major publisher.

Hey-----dream big. :-D
(love the jokes, lol).

Michele said...

Hi, Raine!
Now THAT's a wish list!
Wow ... and I'll get to review them, right?

I'm glad you enjoyed the jokes.
Thanks for stopping by!

Marianne Arkins said...

Yeah... a spot on the NY Times bestseller list would be nice.

And, what's up with not getting gift cards for books? I always end up with cards for WalMart or Target, and then feel obligated to buy stuff for home with them (yanno, toilet paper, etc.).

Love the funnies!

Shesawriter said...

Loved them all! Especially the last one. :-)

Kristen Painter said...

Funny stuff those answers!

Tops on my list is a publishing deal.

Bailey Stewart said...

When are you going to update this blog. LOL

Michele said...

I hear you , Marianne!
I always spend it on the kids and not me. That's why I review!
makes up for all the book store gift cards I NEVER Get. LOL

And, as far as TNYT ...some day!
*grin*...glad I gave you a reason to smile, Tanya!


I can't wait to read your books, Kristen!
Don't forget us little people when your star starts to rise!


Bailey,you may wish you didn't ask that ROTFL!!!!