Sunday, April 15, 2007

I Doubt Didymus' Doubt

See my headline up above? It says that this is a place where I share things near and dear to me.
You’ve seen most of my input, mostly fluffy and offbeat, sometimes serious but not usually to the point of controversial.

Guess I feel like tweaking that a bit. So fair warning - I’m going to be talking religion. So for some visitors, that means “boring” or “red flag” and you‘ll be clicking out faster than you can blink.
That’s OK.

That’s why I’m giving you the head’s up before you go any further into this post.

Catch you next time.

The Scripture readings today were from John 20:1-29.

Remember Doubting Thomas?

How Jesus came into a well locked room to appear before the disciples but Thomas was the only one missing? When the others proclaimed that they had seen the Lord, how he said he wouldn’t believe them unless HE was able to put his fingers into the wounds ?

This story is always used to teach about what makes our faith so special; to believe even when there is no physical, tangible proof.

As I was sitting there listening, I had a thought zing through my brain. A very human and fallible thought.
What if Thomas’ reaction wasn’t so much of disbelief, but of hurt? An envy and hurt that he disguised with words of cynical bravado?
“Oh yeah, tell me another one. I’ll believe that when I see it.”

No one will ever know what he was really thinking - but what if?

What if his feelings were hurt? Tormented by jealousy that the other disciples got to see something, some one, that Thomas was aching to see, yearning to experience? What if he felt left out?
Maybe shut out? Denied?

How crushing!

What would be a human’s response - someone like you and me?

Would we perhaps hide our true feelings with a “Yeah, right” attitude and express disbelief to cover how much we DO believe? Would we suffer the tortured feeling of being on the outside looking in with no hope of one last glance at God who walked as man on Earth? Would our souls cry out at the lost opportunity?

That’s how I see Thomas. I doubt his disbelief. I do not doubt his love for Jesus and his yearning to see him one last time.

I think he issued words of challenge because he still hoped.
Hoped that Jesus would hear and understand and give him the gift of one last chance to be in His presence.

And God loved his disciples to do just that. Even one we now refer to as Doubting Thomas.

And Thomas a/k/a Didymus, has the distinction of presenting our Lord the opportunity to teach us through him that:

Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed."

How truly special is Thomas!



Brandy said...

You raised a valid point. I like your idea, that he reacted out of hurt adn envy that the others were able to experience and see the one person he yearned to see as well. Thank you for the thoughtful post. I'm going to share it with Chris. We didn't make it to Mass this week, but I think we're forgiven. (I doubt the Priest wanted our germs!)

Anonymous said...

wow. i'm not very religious at all. i do have a strong faith though. i consider myself very spiritual. but i don't know any of the scriptures/stories. thanks for sharing this one. it makes a certain sense.

Michele said...

LOL- Brandy. Sickness is one reason that is perfectly logical and accepted to miss Mass. No need to "confess" that.
I'm glad you found my "thought" to make sense. Like I said, I felt compelled to write this. It struck and stuck - so to speak.

Thanks for reading it Brandy!

Kate! Thank you! Thank you for reading my little blurb.

Just FYI- the Scripture of John is considered the most "spiritual" of all the Gospels. The one from Luke is for the average Joe - he was speaking to the regular people - like you and me - when he wrote it.

Thanks you guys for reading this. It means a lot that you took the time.