Monday, April 17, 2006

Blog Hiatus

Hello again!
Its that time of year again where I take 5 days and disappear. No computer (oh the withdrawal), no phone ( oh the peace! ), No having to get up when the alarm rings ( yeah - freedom!) and no home cooked meals (oh the constipation! [bet you didn't want to read that! LOL!! ] )

I hope that you have a quiet, uneventful and healthy week and I hope to have a couple of pictures to share when I return.

For your reading pleasure - or not - I'll leave you with things to view and contemplate at your leisure.

Subject: FW: Bounce this along

My mail carrier (this is from an email that I got two days ago ) told me that the US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away. Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you.

1. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.
2. It also repels mice. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.
3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened very often.
4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season
5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen.
6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.
7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
8. To freshen the air in your home - place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
9. Put a Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.
10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.
12. To freshen the air in your car - place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.
13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static >agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan.
14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottomof the wastebasket.
15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
16. Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bouncewill collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.
20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.
21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.
22. Quick, bounce this on within the next 5 minutes! Nothing will happen if you don't, but your friends will be glad to hear these hints

Is this for real? Beats me, but some of these are cool enough to try!
Let me know if any of you are brave enough or at least, curious enough to try any!

OR If you are looking for a short read :

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast.

He walks in and asks "What's for breakfast?"

She turns to him and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment".

He, thinking it's his lucky day, stands her over the kitchen table and they have sex.

Afterwards he says, "What was that all about?"

She says, "The egg timer's broken!"

If you are still in the mood to read, this last post might fit the bill :

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately
spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00."Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should
tell you first that this bird used to live in a house
of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty
vulgar stuff."The woman thought about this, but decided
she had to have the bird any way.


She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in
her living room and waited for it to say something.The bird looked around the room, then at her,
and said, "New house, new madam."The woman was a bit shocked at the implication,
but then thought "that's really not so bad."


When her 2 teenage daughters returned from
school the bird saw and said, "New house,
new madam, new girls."The girls and the woman were a bit offended
but then began to laugh about the situation
considering how and where the parrot had
been raised.


Moments later, the woman's husband Keith
came home from work.The bird looked at him and said,


"Hi, Keith!"

Have a GREAT week everyone !

14 comments:

Brandy said...

Enjoy your break! I've heard the Boune things before and actually do put one in the wastebasket. Also, the jokes are funny. Loved the last one!

Gangadhar said...

ha ha..loved the jokes...very funny

Kristen Painter said...

Too bad I'm allergic to Bounce. lol

Gangadhar said...

hey Michele,
How's you? long time no see?

Mel Francis said...

Come back soon!

Brandy said...

Um, Michele you just got Spammed!! By the way, WE MISS YOU!!! Hope your vacation is FUN!!!!!!

Becky said...

Have a good vacation!

schoud said...

Haha. Like the jokes.

Michele said...

OK, I'm back as of this Sunday night!
I've got the weirdest vacation to report. NOTHING went like it was supposed to. 4 days of crammed chaos. Will share soon!!! Promise!
M

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I missed you all too!

And Brandy, I took care of that mean ol' SPAM... Thanks!

Gregg said...

Hi Michele- great joke. -gregg

eMMa said...

Whats 'Bounce'???

Michele said...

Thanks Gregg! Nice to see you! Still traveling, yes?


I answered your Question, Emma, on your blog. Thanks for visiting, a real treat to see you!

eMMa said...

I come and visit quite regularly. I just don't often post comments lol.

Michele said...

*grin*, you know, I'm starting to get that way. I posted on another blog, I have 5 now - yes I AM nuts! and I mentioned how I seem to be evolving in my blog habits.

A viewer who doesn't say much unless I can do it in 20 words or less. Strange for me ... after a year of fervent and dedicated blogging, I'm flagging ....I think that s the right word.
Anyway ...thanks for the "heads up" ..so glad you view -hope you find stuff to smile about!
TTFN!