Saturday, April 29, 2006

Esex - Should we worry?

Seriously, we worry about our kids on the internet, but what about us adults?

I belong to a quiz site. You've seen some of them posted here. There are many that are ... inappropriate no matter how liberal your thinking may be. Most are quite fun and are the ones I enjoy participating in.

This site has their own IM program connected to the site. The scenario is that while you are "online", someone could "see" you were and check out your profile. If they are interested in what they see, they'll send you a conversation invite. Even if you are in the middle of a quiz, the conversation can occur similtaneously. Sometimes up to three at a time.

Such was the case last night. I've been approached by people. Mostly guys. I DO NOT have a picture avatar with this site and I never will. Why? Because of the blatent fact that many are there looking for sex.
Person to Person or esex.

It always starts of innocuously enough, a simple "Hi" usually does it. I've been lucky to have been approached by regular people, a man in Poland and one in Africa .. although I'm getting the feeling that he MIGHT be into a import/export scam. I'm finding hints .... certain comments that I find curious.

I'm careful about relating any info about me. One complained about that very fact; that I was saying a lot of fluff but nothing substantial whereas he was more "open". Well DUH! First time conversation and I'm going to give him the "Key of Me" ??
In his dreams.

The inspiration for this post came from last night. I attempted my first initiation of an IM chat with someone who claimed he was "Full of Beans"... the sheer novelty of his choice of words is what prompted me to say "Hi" once I saw that he was online. Truthfully, I originally thought it was a female - imagine my surprise when it was a guy who, as it turns out, is a writer! He asked no personal stuff at all ... it was all writer speak; edits, agents, ups and downs of writing.
I was actually enjoying the "conversation" when another screen popped up.

The usual "Hi" opened the conversation box.
I reply "Good evening."
He types, "What are you wearing and do you like to play?"
Is this what I think it is?
I reply,
"Yeah, Checkers, and I play Catch the Tomatoe Hornworm before it kills my tomatoes and Squish the Slugs. I have sweats and sneakers on. " (So, I'm weird, like that's a surprise? LOL)
His reply
I say
"I'm not sure what to say beyond that, your question was a tad unusual. I'm not sure if I want to even ask about you."
His reply.
"I'm looking for esex."
Geez and Crow! At least he was quick in being honest and upfront about his intentions!
I reply
"Gah! Really? Well I have to tell you I'm a straight shooter. Won't find any fun with me , sorry."
His reply,
"np" (no problem)
He then continues with
"It was worth a shot. Its all a numbers game and I always find someone."
What??? Numbers and he ALWAYS finds someone to accomadate his ... sexual proclivities?

Folks, isn't this a scary thought? That he always finds someone to do this with? He was so casual about it. How can that possibly be healthy????

Yes, I can turn the IM feature off and remain totally secluded from all solicitations. However, just when I thought I had nothing to post on my blog ... life steps in and hands me a juicy one.

So, what do you think?


eMMa said...

How can someone get any pleasure from typing dirty to some stranger?

That guy is probably married or something too.

Gregg said...

I don't want to judge others, but it just isn't my thing.

Brandy said...

Eeeeewwww, gross! We get emails in our Excite mail like that. And ICQ gets those stranger things, too. It's like roulette out there. I too am very carefull about what info is put out there. We have to be. But, like you said, good fodder for your blog!!

Bailey Stewart said...

When you think about all of the multitudes of people out there in internet-land, it's not that hard to believe that he can always find someone. I read about this somewhere the other day (don't ask where, I link hop a lot and lose track of where I am) but it was saying that not all of these people are "perverts". Some are just lonely and tired of "doing it" by themselves. I'd say that's probably just 25% of them though.

Michele said...

Hello eMMa! Yeah, I guess it is possible that he was married or something. How or why they do it, I've no clue. I don't get it myself... nothing works as well as when someone else does it for/to you. It's a proven fact that you can't tickle yourself. Typing and reading words seems way out there ...
*ahem* reading romanctica is NOT the same. Had to put that disclaimer in there, LOL!!

You are so nice, Gregg! Yeah, its not my thing either. In the back of my mind are the kids or really young adults that are out there too which are among those "numbers" he casually mentioned. Sobering thought.

LOL, Brandy. Ewwww is right. Although, maybe I should have "led" him on? It might've been good material for a scene in one of my future books? LOL.
Naw, I'm not that brave.

OH, Eve, now that is a different side of the story I'd not considered. It must suck the big wind to be so lonely as to seek solace that way. Still, when you think of the 25% you mentioned, that is still a ton of people. If I ever get a intro like that again, maybe I'll ask.

Kara Alison said...

You know, I truly don't want to judge people on this one. I feel pretty strongly that if someone is into porn, esex...whatever really, that's their choice. As most people are either openly or privately sexual (even sexually obsessed, dare I say?), I don't see a problem with finding a safe and harmless way to indulge in that. It is a human instinct after all.

My problem though, is that I don't agree with engaging in this sort of behavior in such public forums. Just because you can't see a person's face, does not mean that an internet site is not public. Children and people of all shapes and sizes go to quiz sites. It's NOT appropriate to ask people for sex when they're trying to play checkers online!

Just as you would not ask a stranger on the street for sex, you should not ask someone who is enjoying a game of sudoku either. There are times and places where this is acceptable, be it online or in person.

Annalee Blysse said...

I've never really been interested in esex... which I think is funny because I write erotic romance. Lets face it though... aren't men much more interesting in person? Well, except for the fig leaf free butts on my blog, I'd rather have a real naked man washing my car any day. :)

Michele said...

Kara, I am SO impressed with your comment.
You divined the reasons for my concerns very neatly and balanced them with the free choice that we all (thank God) have.
I am really glad you popped in today and commented. Thanks!

Michele said...

Annalee!! ROTFL!! *giggle/snort*
Yep, I just LURRVED those car washer muscle guys. *wink*

I think we'd ALL be lining up if we could get that kind of "service" in real life, in full color, in full sense-a-round... whoohoo!!!

Beth said...

I work in an environment where a high degree of friendliness and openness is customarily expressed between virtual strangers on the phone just because we work for the same organization. So we didn't think it was highly unusual when we picked up the phone to hear a male voice asking if he could "share something with us." A prayer request, perhaps? A story of how God had blessed some pastor's church ministry? Nope, I'm sure you already guessed he wanted to share something quite different with us! After too many calls in a row from the same "customer" my protective male boss announced he would be answering that line for the rest of the day. End of story.

As for car-washing, I'm afraid my neighbors might not appreciate it if I asked my husband to wash our cars in the driveway, un-attired. But I'll have to keep that thought in mind in case we ever move back to the country :-)