Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I was a victim of the Indy 500 Turtle!!!!

This is something that has been on my mind. I wrote this up after the Indy 500 Turtle struck when we were trying to get home to get ready for a graduation party. What is an Indy 500 turtle you ask???? ALLOW ME TO STEP UP UPON MY SOAP BOX

*AHEM*


Bumper stickers
There are a Ton out there.
I Brake for Moose, I Brake for tag sales , Vote for this or that , Support this or that, Complain about this or that,

BUT they don’t have bumper stickers saying what they should to warn us GOOD drivers about the BAD driver in front of us.

I BRAKE FOR SHADOWS - serious hazard
I BRAKE FOR WIDE CORNERS- you know, the corners Mac Trucks wouldn’t even have to use their brakes for.
I BRAKE FOR PEDESTRIANS ON A SIDEWALK - they’re not walking IN the road, but ON the sidewalk! Very High Risk activity.
I BRAKE FOR CARS PASSING BY ME IN THE OTHER LANE
I BRAKE FOR CARS PASSING ME GOING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

I BRAKE FOR FROST HEAVES (that could work depending on where you live and size of frost heave) - I'm talking here the Princess and the Pea sized frost heaves --
I BRAKE FOR BIRDS - you know, crows and carrion eaters - that gorge on the lovely road kill generously provided by those cars that wouldn’t have an "I Brake for" bumper sticker - EVER.


Or, Descriptive Bumper Sticker :

I'M AN INDY 500 TURTLE! You know the kind. In a 35 MPH zone, waiting to pull out from a side street or traveling in a double lane that is going to converge into one, there they wait.. You are almost upon them THEN, ZOOM! The Indy 500 mad dash to zip out in front of you (they obviously watch ESPN- a lot) and then WHAM! they take their foot off the pedal, dropping into the dead zone right in front of you!!. You are now at their mercy. They are now in front AND there are NEVER any passing Zones. When a miracle occurs and a passing zone does appear, there is a RULE that there will ALWAYS be oncoming cars! They have become The Turtle ...sedately continuing on their way ...going 25 in a 35 MPH zone!!! WHAT ARE THEY DOING????? Saving us from speeding tickets???? That’s why we have Radar detectors! WE NEED TO BE WARNED!!!


Care to share your favorite bumper stickers that "Should be???"

I passed this around to family and friends before I posted this. This is the Bumper Sticker Feedback I'll share with their permission:
I BRAKE BECAUSE I CAN! (my favorite *grin* )
MY OTHER CAR IS BROOM
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I'M A SCHIZOPHRENIC AND SO AM I
MY OTHER CAR IS A PIECE OF S**T TOO
THE BEST THING TO SPEND ON OUR CHILDREN IS TIME

Reader, Please feel free to add. And may your Indy 500 Turtle be FAR from you!

4 comments:

Bonnie Ferguson said...

Hehehehehe :) Those are quite funny :)

Michele said...

OH, thank you, thank you very much. I guess the ol' brain has some firing neurons yet *grin*

C.J. said...

LOL! Too funny, Michele! My favorite is MY OTHER CAR IS BROOM. hehehehe Love it!

Jana J. Hanson said...

I like some of the political ones out now. Honestly, I can't think of a favorite one. My brain's gone numb.