Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A story unlike any other

I don't have much to say today...but it has been a bit since my last post. So, since a relative of mine, in her wisdom, sent me this little jewel...I'll pass it on to you for your enjoyment. Hope you get a snicker or two like I did.

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...
they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job
there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season


Annalee Blysse said...

I was just talking about how I watched The Santa Claus 2 and think Tim Allen is kinda cute. LOL. In his make-up scenes at first, this is what he'd look like. Ho. Ho. Ho.

Brandy said...

OMG! I'm scarred for life. Heh-heh.

Jill Monroe said...

Wow - some pic!

Gangadhar said...

nice one,Michele..

Gangadhar said...

forgot say.."Ho ho ho"

Shesawriter said...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Naked Santa rules! :-)


Michele said...

I never would have connected that, Annalee I'll never watch that show without thinking about Santa au Natural again! LOL.

You're too much , Brandy! I take it you got more than a "snicker" huh? *giggle*

Thanks, Jill!

LOL, Gangadhar, On the Ho Ho HO!
Sounds like I got a smile out of you too *grin*

Oh, Thank YOU, Tanya! He rules, hmmmm? You crack me up.
Thanks for stopping by.

Avindair said...

Okay, the idea of Santa being in the sun somewhere tapping some young blonde's ass is just about the weirdest thing I've heard today.

Cool. ;)

Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Buh-b-b-b-buhh-hut hoo-hohohoo-who wuh-wuh-will g-g-g-guhh-hive ow-owowow-out t-t-t-tttt-ttt!-toys tuh-tuh-toooo uhh-uh-uuh-all th-thh-thHHh-the guh-guh-guh-good guh-g-g-g-guhh-hirls uhh-uh-uha-and buh-buh-b-b-b-b-b-b-buhh-b-b-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-boys?

Michele said...

::smiling widely:: Cool, eh? Avindair?? You know, I didn't really "think" beyond the punch line. Now that you mention it...Ho Ho-woof! :-)

Gee, Muh-muh, I think he'd have enough elf helpers to delegate the duties to, don't you? Those are some of the bene's to being Top Elf... :-)

Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...


Buh-b-b-b-buhh-buh-by th-thh-thHHH-thuh wuh-w-w-w-way, Uhh-uh-I d-d-d-duhh-duh-don't uhh-uh-uh-uhp-appreciayy-ay-ate yuh-yuh-yuh-yy-you cuh-cuh-cuhh-huh-cuh-halling muh-muh-m-m-m-me "Muh-muh." Uhhh-uh-Ii huhh-huh-have uhh-uh-uh-a luh-l-l-luhh-huh-jj-jiiit-legitimuhh-muh-muh-mate puh-puh-p-p-p-p-pp-puhh-hroblem huh-huh-here. Yuhh-yuh-yuhh-yoooou c-c-c-c-cuhh-han cuh-cuh-cuh-call muhh-m-m-m-mmm-mMM!-muh-me "Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad" ohh-ohoh-or Cuh-cuhh-cuh-cassius.

Thh-thh-thhhh!-thank yuhh-yuh-y-y-y-y-y-you.

Michele said...

**::raises Spock-like eyebrow::**
OK, Cassius it is.
Thanks for the correction.

The optimist from utopia said...

wow!! From where did you get THAT picture?? Did some elf slip it in as an early Christmas present ;) Nice post..

Michele said...

Hi There!! the optimist from utopia
Where did I get this..well, I would be more than happy to say that I had an "in" with the elves...they's be...well..*ahem* , ANYway....It was part of the email my SIL sent me. You think this Santa is good? Whoa, have you seen the new email loop going around..Yowza!! Hot tamale! So hot, I'm afraid to post it here....
Thanks for stopping by my little blog and thanks for your comment!

Robin Caroll said...

LOLOLOL! Made me laugh! Thanks for sharing it!

Michele said...

*grin* You are quite welcome, Robin!!!
Always happy to share a smile.

Dixie Belle said...