Saturday, July 29, 2006

Patriotic with humor

Grandmas -Gotta Love 'Em!!!

Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro (subway) station in DC:

"There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one.

"An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined.

"The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, 'Lady, don't you care
about the children of Iraq?'

"The old woman looked up at her and said, 'Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in Vietnam. All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it."

~God Bless America!

Top This:

CHARLEY WAS PROUDLY taking a visiting Texan on a tour of his Arkansas farm when an animal crossed the road in front of them.

“What was that?” asked the Texan.

“A deer,” replied Charley.

“Well, in my state, the deer are much bigger than that,” said the Texan. “And what’s that?”

“A groundhog,” said Charley.

“I didn’t even recognize that,” said the Texan. “Ours are bigger than that.”

A little while later, a turtle crossed the road.

“What‘s that?” the Texan asked.

Charley replied, “A tick.”

Just a Wannabe

I WANTED to be a...

...waiter but couldn’t carry out an order.
...poet but had no rhyme or reason.
...boy Scout but wasn’t prepared.
...skyscraper builder but don’t like tall stories.
...puppeteer but couldn’t pull the right strings.
...plumber but just had a pipe dream.
...garbage collector but don’t like being down in the dumps. driver but couldn’t hack it.

That’s a Bright Idea

A COUPLE OF country bumpkins, Harry and Larry, ran away from home. Since it was dark, they carried a flashlight to find their way.

Eventually, they came to a large body of water. “I know how we can get across,” Harry said. “I’ll flash the light on the water, and you can walk across on the beam.”

Larry shook his head. “I may not be very smart, but I know that’s not going to work. As soon as I get halfway across, you’ll turn off the light.”



Brandy said...

Love these, especially the umbrella one!!
Always know to look here for a good joke every week!

Farm Girl said...

I love the first one, that is wonderful!!! Gotta love them old people, they certainly aren't afraid to say what they think.

M.E Ellis said...

LOL @ the old lady and her umbrella.

By the way, I 'get' the stew thing now. I honestly did wonder WTF you were on about earlier hahaha!


Annalee Blysse said...

:) Good ones.

CaliMarie said...

That old lady sounds like a great main character for a novel.


Humor that was so needed.

Thanks, Michele.

Love you much.

Michele said...

Glad to hear that, Brandy!

You bet, Les. As soon as I saw it, I had to share. :-)

M.E. - **giggle** @ the stew. So far, everyone loves the ol'lady..*grin* I wonder why???:-)


Cali- You're welcome Cali! You're so sweet too. Always happy to share a smile.