Laugh with me or at me

May I share a Milestone that I've reached in my life as of this past Wednesday?

I sent this already to my friends and family. I received absolutely NO sympathy. In fact, I received mostly "Join the Club!" "Welcome to R.E.A.L. Life!" "Welcome to my world" and "You've got to be kidding, I've had those for years!" (this , from my LITTLE sister !)



I've reached a milestone in my life.

I found my FIRST gray hair.

Just thought you'd like to laugh with me.
Ha ha......**pout**
Sincerely,
Michele



I believe this moment needs to be addressed with all it sombre and serious ramifications. Create a diversion!!!

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,
"What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00

The Look on Cop's Face.

PRICELESS

Now some "dated" jokes about Love, Courtship and other odds and sundry:
*****
"What's wrong Henry?" asked his wife.
"My razor," boomed the voice in the bathroom. "It doesn't cut at all!"
Don't be silly. Your beard can't be tougher than linoleum."
*******
"Does your wife really obey you?"
"Sometimes." When I say, 'Go ahead and never mind me,' she always does."
********

He says " You are always wishing for what you haven't got."
She says "Well, what else can one wish for?"

**************

Hubby- "The bank has returned that check."
Wifey -"Isn't that splendid! What can we buy with it this time?"

******************
MOM- "What did your father say when he saw his broken pipe?"
Kid - "Shall I leave out the swear-words, Mom?"
Mom - "Certainly!"
Kid - Then I don't think he said anything."

***************

Lawyer - "Well, if you want my honest opinion --"
Client -"NO,no. I want your professional advice."
**********
The great difference between learning to drive a car and to play golf is that in one case youhit everything, and in the other you hit nothing.
*******************
"Yes, my husband's laid up, a victim of football."
"But I didn't know he even played the game."
"He doesn't . He sprained his larynx at the match last Saturday."
******************
On a note of truth::
Samuel Johnson is quoted as saying, "Abuse is often of service. There is nothing so dangerous to an author a silence. "
******************
Quote from Oliver Wendell Holmes:
"What a blessed thing it is that nature, when she invented, manufactured and patented her authors, contrived to make critics out of the chips that were left!! "
*************
Actor - A man who tries to be everthing but himself.
Experience - The name men give to their mistakes.
Public Speaking - The art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two hour vocabulary.


And finally:
It was once remarked to Lord Chesterfield that man is the only creature endowed with the power of laughter.
"True," said the peer, "and you may add, perhaps, that he is the only creature that deserves to be laughed at."

'nuf said.

Hopefully, something distracted you from my new color hue.
Have a great day!!