Let's mess with your mind today

Hello again!
After posted that pic of the giant rabbit, I decided to go back to profiling humans and their nature.
We all have heard about birth stones. October is Opal or Pearls. I know that because that's mine. However, did you know that there are stones for professions?
Well, neither did I. Allow me to enlighten you....

Birth-Stones
Laundresses = the Soapstone
Architects = the Cornerstone
Cooks = the Puddingstone
Soldiers = the Bloodstone
Politicians = the Blarneystone
Borrowers = the Touchstone
Policement = the Pavingstone
Stock Brokers = the Curbstone
Shoemakers = the Cobblestone
Burglars = the Keytstone
Tourists = the Yellowstone
Beauties = the Peachstone
Editors = the Grindstone
Motorists = the Milestone
Pedestrians = the Tombstone

Some of these references are before my time, some however, stand the test of time.

Man vs. Woman.... Now, I'm quoting here..no pots or wrenches thrown at me , please...
Women's faults are many,
Men have only TWO,
Everything they say,
And Everything they do.

For all those stars and starlets who have eaten political crow these past 2 elections, there is this little ditty,

"Twinkle, twinkle, movie star,
Out in Hollywood so far;
Don't you hold your head so high--
You'll bump your nose against the sky.

Weird and not so wonderful rhymes:

Mary had a little lamb,
A lobster and some prunes,
A glass of milk, a piece of pie,
And then some macaroons;
It made the naughy waiters grin
To see her order so'
And when they carried Mary out,
Her face was white as snow.

Mary had a little car
She drove in manner deft,
But every time she signaled right,
The little car turned left.

Little Miss Muffet decided to rough it
In a cabin quite old and medieval.
A rounder espied her and plied
her with cider
And now she's the forest's prime evil. ( this is my favorite)

'Twas in a restaurant they met,
Romeo and Juliet.
He had no cash to pay the debt,
So Romeo'd what Juli'et.

And lastly:

That Eve was the first Summer girl
There is no doubt at all,
For we are plainly told the she
Arrived before the Fall.

Oh, Oh! Nope gotta do this last one:

Don't worry if your job is small,
And your rewards are few;
Remember that the Mighty Oak
Was once a nut like you. ( Or like me for even posting these goofy rhymes)

I did say I wanted to mess with your minds, right? I think they will work:

O, MLE, What XTC
I always feel when UIC,
I used to rave of LN's eyes,
4 LC I gave countless sighs,
4 KT, 2, and LNR,
I was a keen competitor.
But each now's a non-NTT,
4 Y XL then all UC.

My tYpust is on hor vacution,
My trypist's awau fpr a week,
My typudt us in hwr vscarion
Wgile thse danm kews plsy hude and seej.

LOL! Have your eyes crossed yet???