What is my voice?

I was asked this recently.

Remember my Dog's Life I posted awhile ago? Months , actually. It was my first complete 'story'.

I never gave such things serious thought.

Looks like I need to.

For you who have visited me on a semi-regular basis over the past six months, what would you say my voice is?

My guess? Light. Airy. Fluffy. Humorous. Essentially, I'm a blasted Goody-Two-Shoes!! In permanent puberty.

If there's a bitch bone in my body, I've yet to find it.

Don't get me wrong, I can be bitchy. That's not the same as saying I AM a bitch.

How can I write convincing bad guys and gals? How can I depict an evil genius that gives you nightmares if the worst I come up with is a dog in clothing crisis?

I give a good running start on things, but similar to my swimming in a L-shaped pool, I veer away from the finish line to end up turned around in the leg of the "L".
(I really did that too)

Almost half my life is over, and I'm trying to discover myself. Is there a time limit on this journey? Besides the obvious...

Off topic:

How the heck do you cook Okra? I was told to: Cut off ends, slice in 1/2 inch coins, dip in in egg, drench in flour and fry in oil.
Bland!!!!!!

Ack! I added a little salt , even though I know I should not but it did help.

Any advice?

BTW -

I want to write THIS kind of scary! A serious freakazoid type that has you screaming into the night - or at least diving into your closet.

I finally saw the movie

The second Pirates of the Carribean.

The verdict? My DH hated it. Said it was too weird, strange, creepy and didn't draw him into the story.

Me, well, I still think Depp is wonderful at playing the character. Bloom was bloomin' wonderful.

I believe the story was plot driven, not character. I am under the impression that the movie hung on visuals and gimmicks and was short on personal interaction. The ONLY time I felt some kind of emotion was the scene between father and son.

I sincerely hope that the third installment will deliver because at this point, I don't care if you-know-who comes back or not. Savvy?

BTW- did anyone see the END end of the movie??? What a bone ... teehee.

A link for which you may need an ice cube - TRAY

Someone was having fun drooling over the French Rugby Team. Whoa! May take awhile to load....but its worth a hot flash or two.


Mailyn tagged me. However, it's not one I can just whip off in a trice. Some serious thought must be given to this task she's handed me. Keep your eyes posted sometime next week for the 13 worst books I've read Meme .... I have to FIND 13 , if you can believe it.

Anyone see the TV promo for SMITH - (Ray Loleta (sp) ), the new show coming out in the fall? Is the music from Audioslave or the Foo fighters? I'm betting on Audioslave.

Anyone read Hurricane Hannah by Sue Civil-Brown?

Savannah Jordon's first book, Sacrilegious is out. I have yet to purchase it, but before August is over, I guarantee I will own it. How can I not? Well, there is one glitch. As far as I can see, payment is by PayPal only. A minor stumbling block, to be sure. The book is awesome and unique. I know this because I've been given the honor of a few sneak peeks. Or should I say TEASE?? LOLOLOL


Check out Savannah's new book: You can't help but get Wowed.


Last post, I had a really cute puppy dog. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this puppy is even cuter.....

Emotion Movers

Thank you everyone, who took not only the time to read the previous post, but offered advice and guidance. I greatly appreciate your kindness and willingness to share your expertise.
((Happy HUGS))

On a lighthearted thought train, I offer:

UCLA Women's Study


> > A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed

> > that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ

> > depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

> >

> > For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with

> > rugged and masculine features.

> >

> > However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more

> > attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest and tape over

> > his mouth while he is on fire.

> >

> > No further studies are expected.

************************************
OK, So that may be considered harsh. Does this picture sooth you?

























*****************************************************************
THIS, however, I find pierces my bubble of conformist content with a resounding , OUCH!











Does this bother you?

Somehow, I don't think it's as bad as it could be ....

Ask this next ..... bloke...oops! Too Late!

Prologue Preview

Hello and Happy Saturday!

After much thought and consideration, I decided to share my prologue from the thread that got away.

I had rewritten it at least four times. I liked each sucessive attempt, thinking it did get better but not having an in-the-know critque expert, I write in the dark and am never sure or confident.

I find that my initial draft qualifies me as a minimalist. Very sparse in descriptive background. I never thought I'd say this, but, I'm AFRAID of putting too much description!

I have the feeling that I'd get lost in all those words - but you know what? I got lost anyway. So , I'm being a "Chicken Little" ... perhaps just going with the flow is a healther way to be. (?)

That said,

Read it and cringe: ( or double over in laughter from how juvenile this is):

In the cloud dappled autumn moonlight, a lone figure walked erratically within shadows of despair. Barely visible, she wore a patchwork patterned leather duster whose colors were curious shades of tan, brown and beige. The coat’s panels were held together with a clumsy and inconsistent whipstitch lending the garment a macabre and discordant air. An upturned collar partially hid the host’s face; scraggly shoulder length hair limply slid forward to obscure the rest. Hunched shoulders spoke of defeat or fear but no emotions registered on her face. A hand, chapped from exposure , with its maroon tipped nails chipped, ragged and pealing, lifted up and weakly caressed the opposite sleeve lovingly, sensuously, then slowly glided over to the front to fondle the oddly shaped bone buttons before sliding back to the sleeve.

The host always had an almost unnatural love of the coat.
Gradually, footsteps became plodding, slow and uneven as the host headed towards a wild expanse of brush and weeds growing alongside a rusted chain link fence near the rear of an abandoned warehouse.
Physical discomfort seemed unacknowledged to the point where awareness appeared nonexistent. As the lone figure in the odd coat slowly sank to the ground, the duster revealed itself as being unfinished. One last leather panel needed to be obtained to complete its goal. The host sat silently, unmindful of ripped stockings, tattered dress and bloody feet while continuing to caress the sleeve as though touching a lost friend, a comfort, a soothing.

The motion slowed, grew halting, then stopped. A breath, gentle in strength, heavy in despair passed the victim’s dry, cracked and bleeding lips, sending a sigh of farewell into the night.
Silence.
Stillness.

The last glimpse of movement was of a lone tear tracking a dusty path down the side of the corpse’s now tranquil face while half-opened grey blue eyes stared in a lifeless gaze. Within the void of lifelessness, the sound of creaking leather could be heard, yet the body remained still. A movement, a shift, a sliding, the duster now covered the body while emitting a low hum as a yellowish grey mist rose over and around the inert form. Gradually, the hum faded, the hazy cloud dissipated revealing a corpse with its frontal portion of skin removed. Alongside the victim, a patchwork duster lay on the ground.


A short time later, a homeless man, jacket worn thin and patched stumbled upon the body.
Horrified by the grisly sight and stench of death, he started backing away. A shadow of color carried on a chilled wind wrapped itself around his legs, swirled up his body with a deathly cold finger to graze his neck.
Shivering, he stopped and looked around quickly. Gingerly, he crept forward, crouched down and picked up the coat.

“ It’s not like yer gonna need this anymore.“ he mused aloud.

He shook the coat to it’s full length. “ And would ya look at this beauty. A perfectly good coat, all nice and solid like.“

He tossed his tattered jacket to the ground and shrugged his bony arms into the sleeves.

“Yup,- just perfect.“


I've been thinking of switching the word "color" for "yellow" in keeping with the glow that covered the body.
I'll also admit that a few changes I've made, have come from a wonderful blog buddy to whom I am SO grateful to for being willing to even read this, never mind the valuable input.

Keep in mind that the entire prologue came from a dream It was SO detailed that it moved me to put it in words.
I just wish that I'd have dreamt more than just this tiny part. Anything that came after I had to conciously think of.

So, that's all folks.

Addendum:
Jason mentioned my overuse of adverbs and such. Anyone want to point out some glaring examples from this excerpt? I can't zero in on what could be cut. Maybe if I "saw" an example, I can comprehend and get a grip on things better that way.
I'm a visual learner anway.
Again, Thanks, Jason!

And Blogger still won't let me post a picture...rats.

I can't believe I caught this typo!!!!!

Yep, I did.
All by myself.

I was cruising the news synopsis' of a local TV station and LO! There is was.

I hope the Title is accurate and not the story snippet or we're in BIG trouble, LOL


Yellow Pigment in Vegetables Could Protect Vision
CHICOPEE, MASSACHUSETTS (WWLP) – That yellow pigment that gives corn, squash, and other vegetables that golden glow could help protect against vision later in life.
Complete Story Updated: 08-16-2006 07:07 PM ET

I Highlighted in RED the wording that changes the whole meaning of intent.

Isn't it a hoot?

JAK is Guest Blogging today!!!

One of my ultimate favorite authors is Jayne Ann Krentz, Jayne Castle, Amanda Quick and Stephanie James. No matter WHAT name you read her by, she's wonderful and she's currently guest blogging at Michelle Buonfiglio's wonderful site.

Stop by and say HI!

Random babble around the Barnyard

Took the little ones to see Barnyard today.
Cute film.
Great musical track.
Scary coyotes.
If you have youngin's , you might reconsider taking them if they are overly sensitive.

***SPOILER****
Think Bambi's Mom - think the New Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the scene with the squirrels, but replace them with hungry unfriendly coyotes, and you have an idea why.

Other than that, the animation was incredible. The thunderheads in the background down in the valley were exceptional visuals.
Did I mention the tunes? My kids were dancing in the aisle! LOL
Me? I do restrained chair dancing.

Feel like blog hopping? This one had me snorting my coffee, or is that choking? Either way, it's not for the innocent of mind. The title of her post is called the Root Cellar and the vegetables are ..um... well, you will have to read it and decide for yourself. ROOT CELLAR.

This next one is a post by Daisy that's a few days old, but it will never lose it's appeal or poignancy - I salute her courage and talent for bringing this serious subject to light and being willing to share it with us in the Blogosphere.
Please explore the reality : UTD's - I dare you.

A few of you have expressed curiosity of the story I am writing. I had mentioned it to a fellow blogger last year, long before Walace and Gromitt and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit ever saw the light of day. I was joking that a were-rabbit would make an efficient spy.
Think about it:
Being able to burrow under gates, razor wire, laser alarms.
Just by their virtue of being naturally "cute", they can disarm the foulest mood - unless they happen upon a frustrated farmer. Then watch out!
They run. No confrontation, but running away to seek, spy and report another day.
Who would employ such creatures and why? I mean , I know why, but WHY?

How did it start?

A dream. A sequence of a scene. I've read that some authors are blessed in that they dream a whole plot, characters and resolution and then sit down to create a masterpiece. (any completed story is a masterpiece in my opinion)
I don't have that luck.
I get a tiny piece and have to work up to and then away from that small piece. So where it'll go and how it gets resolved is a surprise.
Danged frustrating.

I was doing another story earlier in the year. I forgot one basic principal. Have fun.
I lost the thread.
How?
By deciding that I needed LOTS of research in a science field that normally cures my insomnia.
It's high brow stuff for a lay person like me. I tried to understand it, truly I did. I felt if I could just narrow down the element to one theory or fact that could color my narrative with authenticity, I'd be fine.
What happened?
I got confused, frustrated, not to mention sleepy.
And I lost the thread.
It was buried in doubt, insecurity and feelings of self-derision that I was writing gibberish that a six year old would be more effective at.

After three months - poof! gone.
About two months ago, I had another dream scene. I just adored how it sounded. BUT, I have to have a reason to GET there. I have to have people introduced to explain why that scene even occurred.
So, there I am, here I am - 4600 words with a title: Dance in the Fog.
It won't stay that way, but I like to have it there. Makes it more real.

Oh, the story that got away? Was called : The Skinners.
Not very nice and dastardly evil entities.

Who knows, I may visit it again sometime.

I just hope that I didn't bore you today and that you'll still come back and visit me sometime.

An Unpopular Opinion

After procrastinating for much of the year , I've done what I said I would do for 2006 . One of my resolutions - I only made a few and losing weight was NOT one of them.

I read a book. A BIG book. A book that so many rave about, clamor over, sigh over and press into our minds that we are missing something if we don't.

Outlander
by Diana Gabaldon.


Once again, I swim against the current.
I am not in love with the character of Jamie Fraser.
Nor am I "in like".
I tolerate.

My wonderful cousin has been asking me for two years to read it and you know what? I HAD read it somewhere in the past. I remember the cows, the vaccination mark on Geillie , and Randall's perversity and how Claire cured Jamie of his PTSD.
It was LONG and detailed and I found myself skimming. Yes - the prose was descriptive and colorful.
I appreciate the hard work that Diana had to have done in preparation for writing this book never mind the actual creation of it.
I can see the allure of a slightly older women tuturing her younger and virginal husband. But did it inspire me to read the series further?
Did it create an obsession?
A desire that needs to be assuaged by buying all the books in the series immediately?

No.
Not by a long shot.

Someone please explain to me what the allure is of Outlander that generates such passion, dedication and loyalty among its readers.

I don't feel it.

Warning - Vision Test Alert -

Hi Fellow Bloggers!

As you may not know, I have some very serious eye problems and I routinely undergo various tests to determine how things are regressing.

I just had my annual test and my doctor gave me a new test that he uses to measure the amount of retina pigmentation loss one experiences after the age of 50.

This is a relatively new test. He gave me a copy of it to put on my computer so I can test myself every few weeks. I asked for
permission to forward it to others and he graciously said I could seeing it was new and so valuable.

So I am sending it to family and friends over the age of 50 with a few special exceptions...like you who visit my blog.

























I hope this public service announcement has helped you immeasurably!

Watch that Temper

You have to love those Wal-Mart Greeters!!

The perfect Wal-Mart Greeter

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart
with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.





The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"



"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

A tour of inspiration

I want to write. I've been trying to write about a subject that's been on my mind.
Sometimes you need an extra shot of inspiration.
Sometimes a place gives you a feel for the setting you intend to use.
If you are lucky, it takes you to a place you never thought to go.

Such is the case of my story. I'm only up to
4, 000 words, but I'm happy.
Want to see my inspiration?

It was a beautiful day when I took these pictures in July.

What do you think?

Would they inspire you?

If you don't think so, try clicking on a picture to see it in its bigger glory.

This one just makes you feel cooler by looking at it. Truly - it was a special day when I found this magical place. I could have been so far removed from civilization yet, I wasn't it. True magic, to transport you to another world......

I had to post this even though you probably need a magnifying glass to see it. As many times as we've been to Acadia, never have we seen wildlife. There is a DEER in this picture! My little guy spotted it - actually there were two, but you can only see one in the pic. Its the tan thing in line with the third rock from the sun...whoops, wrong title... third rock from the left....*wink*  

Top of Cadillac Moutain, Acadia National Park near Bar Harbor, Maine Quite the view, isn't it? You literally CAN see for miles and miles and miles. Maybe The Who was inspired by this place?  

DH took this one. Why ? I have no idea. But since he seldom takes the camera away from me, I'd thought I'd share his view of the fort that he thought was interesting. 

The fort seen from across our motel room. Did I mention that we stayed at a Comfort Inn? It was ...comfortable. The best part? Quiet. I love me my quiet. Comes from living in the deep country. I'll take the sound of bouys, seagulls and fishing boats in the early morn versus tree frogs anytime. Wouldn't you? Just for a little while? 

I just took this picture because I liked it. That's a boat coming from behind the trees - fishing boat I think. Maine has some of the best coast lines...ocean or river. 

I'm in the fort. Looking across the river where our motel is. Its one of those white square buildings on the water. The one IN the water is a cruise ship that docks there once a week. And no one gets off..... spooky.  

One of the supports that would swivel a cannon on to aim at the enemy. The fort wa built to house over 300 cannon, but the fort actually only saw 74 delivered. Now there are about 6. Two on display, four in storage - someday to be refurbished, at a lovely bargain of a 1/2 a million each. Ouch! 

Imagine - there are many corridors in Fort Knox that require flashlights. They are long and dark. When the sun is high, rays can creep around corners to give you a little security, but when it is past its zenith and heads for the hills, then the atmosphere gets very creepy. Look how dark it is in the tunnel, just imagine that this goes on farther than my camera flash can illuminate. It is wonderful for lovers - sneaking kisses is easy. When you have kids? You hide and make scary noises to freak them out. It has an awesome echo effect. Oooooohhh! Bwhahahaaa!! 

This is the view from our Right window. Down below was a walkway that was a delight to traverse as it brought you right to an ice cream shoppe and our place of breakfast and supper. It was SUCH a quaint town. Loved it! 

The view out of our motel room from the left side - that big tall thing in the background is one of the support towers for a new bridge taht it being built. Only one section is left to join the sides together. Very cool. 

Another tasteful rendition I could't pass up. I was impressed with this dapper giraffe. Notice the tie clip - very smooth, eh? 

Maine is whimsical. I don't know if you can see it, but this well heeled cow has a pearl anklet on. She's too sexy for her udders....**giggle** 

I'm back from Maine

Delightful. Absolutely delightful.
Sunny, warm temps, low humidity, a slower more relaxed pace and a view to a fort.
Fort Knox.
Did I take pix?
yep.
Without digital, I have to do it the snail's way.
So stay tuned.
I am SO gonna share my vacation with you.
Provided Blogger behaves and is fixed.
If not, I'll use Picasa - the only drawback being I can only publish on pic per post .
I can deal.
I hope you'll check back periodically later this week to see!

Oh , I did read two authors many people have been singing praises for,
Jill Shalvis and Lisa Kleypas.

May I say: NEW FAN!!!

I'll fill you in later about those as well. I just have to run lots today, but I wanted to let you know I'm back safe , sound and jumping head first back into the stress pool
oh joy.
Toodles, All!

Remember to check out my Hiatus post Will You Miss Me? This is just another Eggscentric photo I found to share.  

Humor donated by Beth. Isn't she a sweety? 

Very sage advice. 

Now this is a different take on "Swimming with Dolphins"..... wouldn't you just LOVE to do this? I would.  

OK, lets try this again. This ended up on the other blog, dang it. Anyway, remember Blogger is acting up, this was supposed to go with my other post - the Hiatus Post..so check it out please, OK? TTFN 

Will You Miss Me?

Hiatus time again.
I'll be a non-blogger until early next week.
Once more I have to deprive myself of your visits, your comments as well as your own blogs that I enjoy visiting and commenting upon.
I'll miss you, will you miss me?



I was going to leave you with images, if Blogger cooperated that is, But I'm going have to use the lovely Picasa. Which means the pics will be on top of this post. Grrrrr....

But first some brain info/tests/ things that will take awhile. You may have to pop back in more than once - I wouldn't want to read it all in one sitting, I most certainly can't expect you to, right?

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu.
If you experience any of the
following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on someone's windshield.
**********************************************************************
Scary Test for Dementia

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly.
You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.... Ready? GO!!!

First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic!
Note: This must be done in your head only .
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 .
Now add 20 .
Now add another 1000
Now add 10 .
What is the total?

Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... ....Maybe.

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? > He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
*************************************************
A Woman"

This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the bookwhere all of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved over time.

It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but
from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected,
and next to the heart to be loved."

Pass this on to all exceptional women that you know.. and to men so they know the value of a woman.

Subject: Unsafe at any Speed

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday...His wife told him,

"Tomorrow there'd better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package on the driveway...
When she opened the package, she found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

*******************************************************************
This morning on the Interstate,

I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph
with her face up next to her rear view mirror
putting on her eyeliner.


I looked away for a couple seconds
and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,
still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much;
I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel,

it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs,

splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers,

and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!!!
**********************************

Hopefully somewhere, with all these words - they somehow made you either cringe, chuckle, smirk, smile or groan. The one thing I hope they did NOT do, was bore you.

Hope to see y'all when I return!

Ah, a cat's life. Anticipation is half the fun