Friday, October 28, 2005

You want to put WHAT up your nose???

What's up with the title you ask?
I'm pleased that you want to know.
Right now, I feel like I am in need of an olfactory bypass procedure.

HUH?


I'm Stuffed up!!! I caught a blasted cold and it kept me up all night! Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to sleep with a Box of Tissues? They don't make them in any shape that doesn't have freakin' points. They come in pretty scenic boxes, crocheted boxes, even novelty boxes..BUT THEY ALL HAVE POINTS!










Tried a roll of toilet paper instead. Brilliant idea, that.



You knock it off your side table in the middle of the night and you have to play follow the leader....you know, fumble around to grab the end, then re-roll what unrolled as it merrily shed itself in its momentum. Can a roll of toilet paper be merry? Sure the heck feels like it when it's 2:30 in the morning and you're vulnerable to the nefarious TP Gremlins.




That's when I had a Brilliant idea!


What could be brilliant at 2:30 in the MORNING?? Oh Boy! I could make millions with this!!!

NOSE TAMPONS!!!

Yes, I was thrilled to finally figure out a way to combat the embarrassing "nose thing" that happens when you have a cold induced stuffed schnozzle.(yes that IS a word)
Think about it. Tiny little things that fit "just right", so there won't be any more of those unexpected faucet drips. BUT! you say, what about the little tail?



Whilst it IS true that there will be those of us out there that will be a little to vigorous in....placement,. (The ENT MD's are gonna love this extra job security) there is that cute little pull tab to mention. It could be made of thread encased in coiled metal, either in gold or silver (like a nose ring, see? ), and attached at the end could be an ADORABLE little sticky thing....butterflies, anchors, skulls, poodles....that will attach to the outside of your nostril with an adhesive similar to those BREATHE-RITE strips that snorers are pressured into wearing for the sanity of their bedmates.
YES! I have thought it out.


We even could have them in C O L O R S !!!
..




Of course we have to have a disclaimer of where NOT to put them.
Some people are easily confused.....*sigh*



I was so proud of my brilliance , I logged right onto the internet to make my dream of millions a reality.
Imagine my horror, my dispair, my bad-ass luck when I saw THIS!!!


I'm not the first to think of it!!!!!

Whaaaaa!!!!

*sniffle*, Does someone have a tissue???

14 comments:

Bonnie Ferguson said...

(((Michele))) on the cold.

Brandy said...

I swear we didn't give you our cold! It DID NOT run amock through cyberspace! I wish I had your sense of humor (sigh). About the tissue, you know they make little travel size tissues. They are supposed to fit in a pocket, they are wrapped in PLASTIC. NO POINTY EDGES. GO, GO FORTH and purchase these lovelies. Been there done that with the t.p., if you think it's hard to find a 2:30 in the morning try finding it when you have CATS who think it's a new TOY! Feel better soon. Sending hugs your way. (I'm a hugger, sorry)

Michele said...

Thanks Bonnie!
Colds usually run their course in a week's time. I hope.
Appreciate the well wishes.

Michele said...

LOL, Brandy. "didn't run amok"
Naw, my kids did it to me. Just pullin' your leg.
As far as the infamous tissues...I had no warning it was going to be so bad, hence pointy boxes. I bought some LOVELY Puffs with Aloe lotion today. Much, MUCH better..aaahh!
I'm grinning here, imagining your cats playing "Monkey in the Middle" with your toilet paper roll. That just tickles the funny bone...but not at 2:30AM I'm sure...*goofy smile*
I don't mind hugs. I LOVE hugs.
Thank you for the well wishes.
Thank you for enjoying my warped sense of humor today...
Hey, like they say, "If you can't laugh...."
So glad you stopped by!!!

Shesawriter said...

Michele,

You are sick! ROFLOL! I can always count on you to give me a good laugh.

Hugs,

Tanya

Michele said...

Hey Tanya! Yup, I'm sick. Now you know. *Cheshire grin*
Oooo, more hugs, cool.
Thanks!
Always glad to see you stop by.

Annalee Blysse said...

Hope you feel better!

MaryF said...

BWAHAHAHA!!!

I feel your pain!

Michele said...

Thanks Annalee,
I took some "knock-me-on-my-butt" meds last night and got a MUCH better rest. Woke feeling marginally better. Good news, eh?

Michele said...

*grin* LOL,Maryf!
Thanks for laughing with me!
I'm still hoping to come up with a Million Dollar idea, though. :-)

Kelli McBride said...

Obviously I am the ONLY person who completely UNDERSTANDS what you mean. I will be completely congested and at the same time have clear liquid running out my nose! Last year I finally realized it was like having a nose bleed, so I balled up some tissue and stuck it up there like you would if you had a nose bleed. Ah! Relief!

I have a bean bag floor chair that I keep handy so I can put it behind my pillows so I can sleep upright. I also keep by the bed a variety of unguents and ointments, including Vicks. Since I have an elaborate headboard with finials, I keep a pair of underwear (clean) looped over one of the finials so I can always find something to blow my nose on.

Try to find the Cold Care kleenex with Menthol. You can't find them in OK anymore, but when I visit Missouri and Texas, I always check out the Walmarts there and stock up on boxes. These are marvellous creations, but I can't remember if they are produced by Puffs or Kleenex.

Michele, get well. I've also been ill - I had a migraine on Thursday that didn't leave until 4:10 am Friday. Wiped me out.

Shesawriter said...

Michele,

I showed DH the picture of the lady with the HUGE boobs, and now he's traumatized! ROFLOL!

Tanya

Michele said...

Howdy Kelli! I feel much better knowing that I'm not alone in this experience. Although, not too such about the draped finials...*giggle*

I've NEVER heard of Menthol with Kleenex. I'm going look for them now. What a GREAT idea!!! And I was happy with Aloe, heh.

Migraine...ARGH!..or should I say softly "argh".... those hurt! Hope it'll be a LOOONG time before you get another.

Michele said...

I'm still grinning like a loon here, Tanya, imagining your DH's trauma....*giggle*
You should see the Belly Button Tatoos she posted lately. OMYAching eyes!